{"id":1083,"date":"2012-02-17T00:00:02","date_gmt":"2012-02-17T05:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1083"},"modified":"2012-02-15T16:41:49","modified_gmt":"2012-02-15T21:41:49","slug":"autumn-chapter-3-marin-09","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1083","title":{"rendered":"Autumn – Chapter 3 – Marin – 09"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Marin,\u201d Kellin said one afternoon a couple days later.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She and I were out walking along the ward-lines, checking to make sure nothing had happened to them.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I startled, missing a step but covering it in a spin toward her.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cFor what?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin shook her head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI know that I\u2019ve been terrible lately.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hard to deal with, general pain in the ass.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m just\u2026I\u2019m sorry.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I know I shouldn\u2019t act like that, and I\u2019m going to try to stop.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You guys are right.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m still alive and that\u2019s what\u2019s important.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What brought this on?<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>I was relieved that she\u2019d finally started to screw her head on straight, but I was leery about what had brought on the shift.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Had it just been time, like Phelan had counseled?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDid something else happen?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I asked.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNot really,\u201d she said, shaking her head and shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket as she started to walk again.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNot directly, anyway.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThen what\u2014?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I ran directly into her back as she stopped dead, tilting her head slightly as she stared at Leah, who was struggling up from the ravine, a basket over one arm.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cLeah?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What are you doing out here?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin asked, her voice a little strange as she kept watching her crest the top of the ridge.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Leah\u2019s head snapped up and for a moment she looked like a child who\u2019s been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Then she smiled sheepishly and tugged a fistful of greenery out of her basket.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWitch hazel.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>There\u2019s a patch down there and I was getting some more for the poultices for Phelan.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It wasn\u2019t far, so I didn\u2019t think it was a big deal to go alone.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I shook my head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWe made that rule for a reason, Leah.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>No one goes alone.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>She gestured toward Kellin as she tucked the witch hazel back into her basket.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cShe goes alone often enough.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin winced as I turned my stare to her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>All she could do was shrug.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019s true, I\u2019ve been wandering out a little to clear my head.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAfter what happened to you?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat were you doing?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hoping they\u2019d show up and finish you off?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>She met my gaze, eyes hard.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYes.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She shook her head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m over that shit now, but for a little while, yeah, I kind of was.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She looked away from me and toward Leah.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBut I was being stupid and suicidal, and you\u2019re neither.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Leah shrugged.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI just didn\u2019t think it was that big of a deal.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>There\u2019s nothing out there that\u2019s going to hurt me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I know that something attacked you guys a few weeks ago, and then something <\/span>else<\/span><\/em> got Phelan the other night, but I haven\u2019t seen any sign of anything like that when I\u2019ve been out there.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Just trees and rocks and wet.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I think we could stand to ease up a little.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo, we can\u2019t ease up.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The minute we do is the minute we start to forget why we set the rules in the first place.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Don\u2019t go down there alone again, Leah.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I know that it\u2019s inconvenient, but drag someone along with you.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t care who as long as it\u2019s not Angie.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Angie was too little to be of much good down there, other than her amazingly astute senses.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Leah just stared at me for a second, then made a face and shook her head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy the hell do you worry about it so much, Marin?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I touched the spot on my arm that<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>still was still ice-cold most of the time, where the Greys had hit me that afternoon in the ravine.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBecause I know there\u2019s stuff out there that\u2019s dangerous.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You should know it, too, you were on the receiving end like the rest of us.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI really don\u2019t know what happened.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>All I know is that something hit me in the head.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Leah crossed her arms.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI just don\u2019t see what the big deal is.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou don\u2019t have to see what the big deal is,\u201d Kellin said quietly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou just have to follow the rules, Leah.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Like everyone else.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She scuffed a toe in the dirt.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEven me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I was being stupid and doing things I shouldn\u2019t have.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Almost dying has that effect on a person, and I wasn\u2019t listening to other people the way I should\u2019ve been.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was dumb and I\u2019m not doing it anymore.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin tugged on my sleeve.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cCome on, we\u2019ve got three more wards to check before lunch.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Leah sighed and shook her head at the two of us as we kept walking and she headed back to camp.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I looked sidelong at Kellin.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDid you mean that?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEvery word,\u201d she said, squinting up through the trees at the sun, as if trying to gauge what time it might have been.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m better now, I think.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She sighed and shook her head as we walked to the next ward in the ring.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat happened to Phelan\u2014hell, that whole attack the other night\u2014kind of shocked me back to my senses.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m still here for a reason, even if I don\u2019t know what it is.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I never should\u2019ve begged Jac to just let me die.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI didn\u2019t realize you did,\u201d I said softly.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter anymore.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m here now, and I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She grinned.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou guys are stuck with me, for better or worse.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I put my arm around her shoulders and squeezed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cGlad to have you back.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019s good to <\/span>be<\/span><\/em> back.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hopefully it\u2019ll stay that way.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWe can only hope.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I put my hands in my pockets.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPhelan said she\u2019d be back.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin nodded slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat she said about it not being a victory kind of made me think she would be.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>When did he tell you?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTwo nights ago, when he woke up.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He doesn\u2019t know how long we\u2019ve got before she shows her face again, but she\u2019ll be back.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I barely managed to suppress a shudder.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know what we\u2019re going to do when that happens.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t even know what he did.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNone of us are sure of what he did, but we should be safe inside of these wards.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I have no idea what you were trying to keep out, but they\u2019re insanely strong.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My nose wrinkled.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cStrong enough to keep something like her out?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin shrugged.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI guess we\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYeah,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI guess we will.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Marin,\u201d Kellin said one afternoon a couple days later.\u00a0 She and I were out walking along the ward-lines, checking to make sure nothing had happened to them.\u00a0 I startled, missing a step but covering it in a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,35,41,14,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1083","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-autumn","category-book-2","category-chapter-3","category-story","category-year-one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-ht","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1083"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1084,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083\/revisions\/1084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}