{"id":1205,"date":"2012-04-30T00:00:24","date_gmt":"2012-04-30T04:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1205"},"modified":"2012-04-30T17:36:15","modified_gmt":"2012-04-30T21:36:15","slug":"autumn-chapter-9-03","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1205","title":{"rendered":"Autumn – Chapter 9 – 03"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThere was nothing you could have done,\u201d Thom said for at least the tenth time, his arm locked around my shoulders.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThere must have been,\u201d I muttered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>My stomach folded in on itself once and then over again.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI should have gone after him when I had the chance\u2014I shouldn\u2019t have let Jay stop me.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHey.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thom took my chin in his hand and turned my head so I couldn\u2019t keep avoiding his gaze.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m glad he stopped you.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m terrified by what <\/span>could<\/span><\/em> have happened if he hadn\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I put my hand on his cheek. His eyes were bright with unshed tears that didn\u2019t hide the pain and fear that lurked within the blue.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He wasn\u2019t kidding or exaggerating, I realized.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I swallowed hard and rested my head against his.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t want to lose you,\u201d he murmured.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t think I could stand it, Mar.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWell, you didn\u2019t this time,\u201d I said quietly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd you\u2019re not going to any other time.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPromise?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPromise.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He pressed a kiss to my forehead.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Rory cleared his throat to our left.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>My face flamed for a brief second as Thom and I turned toward him in the same breath, the same motion.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I asked, the warmth disappearing from my cheeks.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He held out a small scrap of folded paper.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cFound this.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Almost missed it since it\u2019s so damn dark in there.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We should\u2019ve snagged a lantern before we went in.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I took the scrap and began to unfold it with shaky fingers.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Rory asked.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I froze in mid-motion.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2014we don\u2019t know,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cJac and J.T. are working on him right now\u2014at least they were when they kicked me out of the tent.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Jac didn\u2019t want me underfoot again.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Thom squeezed my arm tightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I took a deep breath and finally finished unfolding the note.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>The handwriting was unfamiliar, but it didn\u2019t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out who\u2019d written it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The writing was slightly rushed, but the words were clear.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 <\/span>I never wanted to hurt anyone and I don\u2019t want to hurt anyone on accident, which I\u2019m afraid I might if I stay.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>So I\u2019m not going to stay.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>The voices aren\u2019t shouting right now.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I think I\u2019ll make it far enough that I won\u2019t be able to hear them anymore.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe you\u2019ll see me again.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe not.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t know.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My herbiary is under my pillow.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Give it to Jac.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She\u2019ll know what to do.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

— L.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cShe walked away,\u201d I murmured.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cShe walked away so she wouldn\u2019t hurt any of us.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I handed the note to Thom, my gaze drifting toward Rory.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDoes it look like she took anything?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cA backpack, a few boxes of pop tarts, some apples, and a canteen, looked like.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He shook his head slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEnough food\u2014barely\u2014for her to make it a week or so on the road, maybe.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s a lot of toaster pastries.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>I rubbed my temple, brows knitting.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thom squeezed my arm again.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cShe made a choice, Mar.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Whatever happens to her from here on out is on her head, not yours.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I nodded mutely.<\/span>\u00a0 That only helps a little, but thanks, sweetheart.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Thom passed the note to Rory, who skimmed it before tucking it into his pocket.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThom\u2019s right,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI know,\u201d I muttered, starting to walk away from the supply tent.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBut that doesn\u2019t make it much easier.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 Was there something we could have done to help her?<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I was never going to know the answer to that question.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Camp was eerily quiet as the three of us headed back to the main tent, as if everyone was holding their breath.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The only sounds were the animals\u2014the sheep milling around in their makeshift pen, the birds calling to each other from the trees\u2014and the sound of my brother banging on something up on the hillock where his forge would be someday.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thom was staring in that direction, a strange look on his face.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMaybe you should go up there,\u201d he said quietly as Rory kept walking toward the main tent.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMatt might need to talk.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWill you come with me?\u201d I asked.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Thom grunted, shaking his head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m going to go get cleaned up and lay down.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He kissed my temple.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou should do the same after you\u2019ve checked on Matt.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMaybe,\u201d I said quietly, glancing toward the hillock.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thom wrapped his arms around me, holding on tight for a few long, precious moments.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, Thom,\u201d I murmured into his shoulder.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI keep waiting for the next disaster.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He stared down at me and shook his head with a faint, wry smile.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHaven\u2019t we had enough for one day?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I had to laugh.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMaybe.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m really not sure.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I closed my eyes and leaned against him again.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I could smell woodsmoke and the forest, a scent that was half real, half imagined.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>His arms were around my shoulders as we stared into the campfire at our feet, his beard tickling my temple.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I wrapped my hand tightly around one of his and sighed softly.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m sorry I dragged you out here with me,\u201d I whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt must feel like we\u2019re on some insane wild goose chase.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI wasn\u2019t going to let you go alone,\u201d he murmured.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His whiskers made me squirm as the tip of his nose brushed against the upper rim of my ear.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhether you asked me or not, you were going to be stuck with me.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEven if I told you not to leave them?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Not to leave him?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Thom nodded slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEven then.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They\u2019ll have taken good care of him, Mar, you know that\u2014better than I ever could have by myself.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I closed my eyes.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI made you a promise,\u201d he whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd it\u2019s not one I\u2019m going to break.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I shivered a little.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thom\u2019s arms tightened one more time before he let go and stepped back.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cGo on, make sure Matt doesn\u2019t hurt himself,\u201d he said, brushing hair out of my face.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ll come up if something changes.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPromise?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He smiled.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPromise.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere was nothing you could have done,\u201d Thom said for at least the tenth time, his arm locked around my shoulders. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere must have been,\u201d I muttered.\u00a0 My stomach folded in on itself once and then over again.\u00a0 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,35,47,14,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-autumn","category-book-2","category-chapter-9-book-2","category-story","category-year-one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-jr","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1205","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1205"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1205\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1209,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1205\/revisions\/1209"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}