{"id":1211,"date":"2012-05-02T00:00:36","date_gmt":"2012-05-02T04:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1211"},"modified":"2012-05-01T18:51:11","modified_gmt":"2012-05-01T22:51:11","slug":"autumn-chapter-9-04","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1211","title":{"rendered":"Autumn – Chapter 9 – 04"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMatt?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He was bent over his anvil, hammering away at an iron rod laid across it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Each blow sent shivers up his limbs.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The muscles of his arms and neck stood out, his jaw set as he jerked his head up at the sound of my voice.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Light glinted off the rivulets of moisture running down his face.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Tears.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He was crying.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Oh Matt.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat do you want, Marin?\u201d he asked, voice rough and hoarse.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He mopped his eyes with his sleeve and set down his hammer.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His fingers stayed half curled, as if they were stiff from wielding that hammer and holding the iron in place.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I shook my head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy are you trying to cold-hammer that?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019re going to hurt yourself.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t care,\u201d he said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAt least I\u2019d still be feeling.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My stomach flopped.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMaybe nothing and maybe everything.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Is he going to live?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Christ.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know, Matt.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t know if any of us know.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He shook his head as he sank down on a stack of bricks near his anvil, his voice as bleak as his vacant, hopeless gaze.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI didn\u2019t even think when we spotted him in the river.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I just dove right in to pull him out again.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We almost couldn\u2019t find a pulse and he was barely breathing and I\u2014Mar, all I could think about was what that crazy bitch said when the fight started and now we would never fucking know what she was talking about if he died.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHe was standing his ground to protect <\/span>us<\/span><\/em>, but I\u2019ll be damned if I understand why.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I mean, him protecting you I understand, but the rest of us I just don\u2019t get.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He looked at you, he looked at J.T., and he looked at me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Why are we so damn important to him?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I squeezed onto the pile of bricks with him and slid my arm around his shoulders.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He shivered, swallowing hard.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I rested my chin against his temple and sighed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBecause we are, Matty.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He told me once that I reminded him of someone he knew once upon a time.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He didn\u2019t tell me much more than that, though.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 I wonder if it has something to do with that weird vision I had during the battle, after I touched J.T.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Matt sighed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI really don\u2019t think he\u2019d go toe-to-toe with that bitch out of simple sentiment.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMaybe, maybe not.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019s pretty serious about loyalty.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He grunted.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We were both quiet for a few long moments before he said, \u201cWhen do you think we\u2019ll know?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAbout what?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He winced.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhether or not he\u2019s going to make it.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOh.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I frowned, sighing and shaking my head after a few long moments.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thom said he\u2019d come up here if something\u2019s changed.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDid he send you up here?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I looked at Matt, mildly surprised by the question.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThom,\u201d he clarified.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHow did you know?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He shrugged, eyes focusing on something in the distance.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI knew that you were with him, and he\u2019s got this gift for getting you to focus on more than whatever the hell you\u2019re fixated on.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Most of the time, anyway.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd you thought I\u2019d be fixated on something?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI knew you would be.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The same thing I am.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Matt leaned against me, shaking his head slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe same thing most of us are fixated on right now.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Do you think that could\u2019ve been her plan?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Distract us by hurting\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo,\u201d I said firmly, even though my stomach did a full backflip at the thought.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Could that have been her plan?\u00a0 <\/span>If it was, she\u2019s failed because she\u2019s dead.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She has to be dead.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The birdshot was chewing her up even before Phelan got his hands on her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019ll tell us when he wakes up. He\u2019ll tell us everything.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI won\u2019t say that I don\u2019t think that she was that smart\u2014I have no way of actually knowing that\u2014but I <\/span>will<\/span><\/em> say that she\u2019s too dead to make good on any threat like that.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She has to be.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Matt nodded after a moment.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIf you say it, I have to believe it.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I laughed bitterly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019re the one who didn\u2019t find a body.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It doesn\u2019t matter.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>If she wasn\u2019t gone, she\u2019d have shown up again by now.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy did you have to say that, Mar?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Matt said, groaning.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNow she\u2019s going to show up.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>We both held our breath, but no laughter came.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The only shadow that passed over us was a hawk that cried and made us both jump.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I started laughing helplessly, the tension suddenly broken.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Matt clung to me, breathing raggedly as tears started to roll down his face again.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWe could\u2019ve been killed today, couldn\u2019t we?\u201d he asked.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAll of us.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We could\u2019ve been wiped off the <\/span>map<\/span><\/em>.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I sucked in a few ragged breaths, forcing down my hysterical laughter and looking at him.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I reached up and cupped his face between my palms.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBut we <\/span>weren\u2019t<\/span><\/em>, Matty.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We weren\u2019t.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We\u2019re still here\u2014all of us are still here.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSomeday we won\u2019t be,\u201d he said quietly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNot unless we can figure out more ways to defend ourselves.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Not unless <\/span>I <\/span><\/em>can figure out more ways for us to defend ourselves.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I stared at him.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo one made it your job, Matt.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019re wrong, Mar,\u201d he murmured.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI did, and I\u2019m going to do it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t care what it takes, I\u2019m going to do it.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cLet me help,\u201d I said.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ll let everyone help.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He rested his forehead against mine.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cGo back down to Thom,\u201d he said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTell him what I said and thank him for me.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My heart sank.<\/span>\u00a0 He\u2019s going to want to talk to you about this, Matt.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMatt\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ll come down later, but I\u2019m not going to talk about this tonight.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Just let me think for a little while, okay?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I kissed his forehead.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My brother gave me one last squeeze before he sent me on my way.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMatt?\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He was bent over his anvil, hammering away at an iron rod laid across it.\u00a0 Each blow sent shivers up his limbs.\u00a0 The muscles of his arms and neck stood out, his jaw set as he jerked … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,35,47,14,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1211","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-autumn","category-book-2","category-chapter-9-book-2","category-story","category-year-one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-jx","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1211","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1211"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1211\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1212,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1211\/revisions\/1212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1211"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1211"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}