{"id":1237,"date":"2012-05-25T00:00:50","date_gmt":"2012-05-25T04:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1237"},"modified":"2012-05-24T18:09:21","modified_gmt":"2012-05-24T22:09:21","slug":"autumn-chapter-12-02","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1237","title":{"rendered":"Autumn – Chapter 12 – 02"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Phelan sat by the fire, propped up against the storage totes that housed spare dishes and silverware, his staff across his lap and knife in hand, as if he\u2019d been working on carving it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His hands were still, though, and his eyes were on the fire.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He seemed a thousand miles away as I added another log to the fire and sat down next to him.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>It was another moment before he tore his gaze from the fire and looked at me sidelong.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, <\/span>leann\u00e1n<\/span><\/em>?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I shook my head slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cJust trying to understand all of it, that\u2019s all.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They wouldn\u2019t tell me why they\u2019re making a dress.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You wouldn\u2019t tell me why it\u2019s so important that you marry Thom and I so soon.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd that\u2019s important?\u201d Phelan asked, smiling wryly.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTo me it is.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He nodded, snapping his knife closed and tucking it away into his pocket.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His palms rested lightly against the wood of his staff, his eyes drifting back to the fire.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He was silent for so long, I started to wonder if he was ever going to answer.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019s complicated, Marin,\u201d he said at last.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPart of my insistence is born of regrets, though perhaps not the largest part.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That honor, I think, goes to one thing\u2014the two of you are stronger together than you are apart.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>This ensures that you\u2019ll be together.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cFor as long as love lasts,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThat\u2019s what a handfasting is.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You promise to stay together for as long as love lasts.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 Or a year and a day, but I wonder if Phelan will give us that option.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAye,\u201d Phelan said, voice as distant as his eyes, which seemed to focus on something well beyond what I could see.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd nothing that I have ever seen or ever divined says that you and Thomas Ambrose will ever fall <\/span>out<\/span><\/em> of love.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s what being a soul mate is all about, <\/span>leann\u00e1n<\/span><\/em>, and you are his as surely as he is yours.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You are two halves of a wholly dysfunctional whole, but two halves of the same whole nonetheless.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Phelan reached out, laying his hand over mine.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd in the days and years to come, we will need you <\/span>together<\/span><\/em> as one rather than as two\u2014or three.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>A shiver shot through me.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As three?<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I thought of the vision of the birth of our son.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It seemed like more dream than vision.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPhelan\u2014”<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHush,\u201d he soothed softly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDon\u2019t ask questions you don\u2019t want to know the answers to, Marin.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The corner of his mouth twitched in a smile as his head lolled toward me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTrust me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s a question you don\u2019t want to know the answer to.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He kissed my forehead.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThings will be what they will be.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWill they?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I asked, unable to keep the doubt from my voice.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t even know what we\u2019re actually talking about here.\u00a0 <\/span>What are you hiding, Phelan?<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYes,\u201d he said, drawing himself a little straighter.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNow make me some tea.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m parched.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I laughed weakly and got up to get the kettle.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He watched as I filled it and hung it over the fire, silent as I fetched a teapot and a pair of mugs to match.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019d hung the bags in the pot, ready for the hot water when it boiled, before he spoke again.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNow tell me what\u2019s really upsetting you, <\/span>leann\u00e1n<\/span><\/em>,\u201d he said, patting the ground next to him.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI know it\u2019s not this wedding business.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I froze for a moment, heart skipping.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Don\u2019t be surprised.\u00a0 <\/span>Of course he can read that in you.<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I sat back own with him and stared at my hands.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cGo on,\u201d Phelan said softly.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019d been different since the battle, less vibrant, less <\/span>present<\/span><\/em>.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was as if he\u2019d left a piece of himself somewhere and his mind couldn\u2019t help but to wander, looking for it.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHow close was it?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I asked.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAh.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Air rushed out of him and he deflated like a balloon.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSo that\u2019s what it is.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You saw her?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>A shiver shot through me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He knows? \u00a0<\/span>Did he somehow see her, too?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Sense her?<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>My mouth was dry.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019d promised not to talk about it, but I needed to know.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My voice came out as a bare whisper.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWho was she, Phelan?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou have your suspicions already,\u201d he said, his eyes on mine as we looked at each other sidelong.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He looked almost frightened, but more sad.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Who else would come for him?\u00a0 <\/span>Who else would whisper those words in my ear?<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>But why would she care?<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThen why do you need to ask?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Phelan smiled weakly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy does it matter?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy shouldn\u2019t it matter?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Phelan sighed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I got to my knees, looming over him.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat are you not telling us?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy would a goddess care?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>My hands found his.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy would you die to protect us, Phelan?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>A shiver wracked him and he looked down at our linked hands.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His fingers were cold.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>For the first time, I noticed faint scars that crisscrossed the backs of his hands, his knuckles permanently swollen from long-ago fistfights.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019d been fighting for a lot of things for a long time.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIsn\u2019t it enough that I would?\u201d he murmured.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBlood takes care of blood, <\/span>leann\u00e1n<\/span><\/em>.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s all it is.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My stomach dropped as I realized what he\u2019d just implied.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPhelan\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Pain filled his eyes as he looked up at me, lips thin and jaw trembling.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His fingers tightened and his voice came as a whisper.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAll of you belong to me as surely as I belong to you.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Phelan sat by the fire, propped up against the storage totes that housed spare dishes and silverware, his staff across his lap and knife in hand, as if he\u2019d been working on carving it.\u00a0 His hands were still, though, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,35,50,14,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-autumn","category-book-2","category-chapter-12-book-2","category-story","category-year-one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-jX","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1237"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1239,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1237\/revisions\/1239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}