{"id":1300,"date":"2012-07-09T00:00:38","date_gmt":"2012-07-09T04:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1300"},"modified":"2012-07-08T18:40:21","modified_gmt":"2012-07-08T22:40:21","slug":"winter-chapter-sixteen-01","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1300","title":{"rendered":"Winter – Chapter 16 – 01"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Aoife held the blanket lightly around her shoulders as she perched on the lodge\u2019s porch rail, watching the sun go down over the trees.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The chill in the air was the familiar breath of winter, not the sunny, smoky feeling of autumn.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s too early for that.\u00a0 <\/span>Too early for winter.<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Too early for a lot of things.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/em>Too late for others.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>The floorboards creaked behind her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Her fingers tightened around the edges of the blanket.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m not ready for this.\u00a0 <\/span>I can\u2019t do this.<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I have to.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Be gentle, but be firm.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>This can\u2019t keep going the way it is.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Something has to change.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You have to tell him.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>You don\u2019t have any choices left.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSupper\u2019s ready,\u201d Gray said softly from behind her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cKes said you haven\u2019t eaten all day.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Not going to let you get away with that.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cJust not hungry,\u201d she said, staring out at the trees.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Why couldn\u2019t you all let me leave when I said I wanted to?\u00a0 <\/span>This isn\u2019t where I\u2019m supposed to be.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m not supposed to feel what I feel.<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>This isn\u2019t where I\u2019m supposed to be.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/em>Gray leaned against the rail next to her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019re not, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>She shook her head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Not at all.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAre you in pain?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>The pain wasn\u2019t the physical kind, though.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That, at least, had faded.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m just not hungry, Gray.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou have to eat,\u201d he said firmly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIf you don\u2019t, you\u2019re just going to get sick again.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>A shiver wracked her and she touched the mostly-healed wound in her side.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It had taken too long to mend.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She\u2019d been too weak.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Then the shock of Phelan\u2026<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>She closed her eyes.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019s fine.\u00a0 <\/span>He must be.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019s strong.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019ll be safe. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Doesn\u2019t matter where Teague sent him or what he got asked to do.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Everything will be fine.<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>The tears still came.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Tears she didn\u2019t want Gray to see.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>His arm closed around her shoulders and she squeezed her eyes more tightly shut, bowing her head.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThis is a mistake,\u201d she whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou can\u2019t be in love with me.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He stiffened slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was the first time she\u2019d been able to say the words and it made her feel like she\u2019d just ripped her own heart in half.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Gods and monsters.\u00a0 <\/span>This shouldn\u2019t be happening.<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy not?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBecause I was sent to find someone else.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Gray\u2019s fingers, impossibly gentle, tucked under her chin.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He gently guided it up, turned her face toward his.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOpen your eyes, Aoife.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>The sound of her name on his lips made her shiver.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She almost didn\u2019t dare look at him.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>But she did.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Gray brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDoes it matter?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Can\u2019t we change our fates?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Make our own choices?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>She felt tiny and too young, too fragile as she stared into his eyes, saw the concern, love, devotion rising and falling like the tides.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat if it\u2019s the wrong choice?\u201d she whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat if it ruins everything?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat would it ruin?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Gray asked.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe future,\u201d she said, her voice tiny.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe king.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The kingdom to come.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Everything.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>His brows knit.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThen I would say that perhaps it wasn\u2019t meant to be the way you think it was.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His thumb brushed along her cheek again, carrying away another tear.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She felt a chill, then warmth.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>No one had ever touched her that way, made her feel the way he did.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was terrifying and comforting all at once.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t have been brought here if you weren\u2019t meant to choose your own fate andmake your own choices, Aoife,\u201d he said softly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cFollow your heart.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He sounds like Mair\u00e9ad did all those years ago.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>Mair\u00e9ad, Teague\u2019s first love.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Mair\u00e9ad, who he\u2019d had given his life and his crown for.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Mair\u00e9ad, dead for thousands of years, drowned in a tarn as her grandson watched.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Phelan had been too late to save her.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Will you be too late again, big brother?\u00a0 <\/span>Or is it already too late for us all?<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat if I\u2019m wrong, Gray?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What if we\u2019re wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>A shrug.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWe\u2019ll find out sooner or later.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Will you come in, please?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Eat something.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>All of us will feel better if you eat something.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019ve got to be starving.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His palm skated along the side of her face, tender, concerned.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>She leaned into his chest and started to weep without knowing why.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He gathered her into his arms and held her as the sun went down and the ghosts began to whisper in the trees.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was a night for spirits and shadows, secrets, dreams.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>The ways between the worlds were thin that eve, and that left more than enough room to let old, dead hopes in.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Hope that she\u2019d promised herself she\u2019d never dare to feel again.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Gods and monsters,<\/em><\/span> she thought as she pressed her face against the soft flannel of Gray\u2019s shirt.<\/span>\u00a0 Am I ever in trouble now.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>With his arms tight around her, she decided she didn\u2019t care.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Aoife held the blanket lightly around her shoulders as she perched on the lodge\u2019s porch rail, watching the sun go down over the trees.\u00a0 The chill in the air was the familiar breath of winter, not the sunny, smoky … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,55,14,52,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-2","category-chapter-16","category-story","category-winter","category-year-one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-kY","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1300"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1300\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1302,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1300\/revisions\/1302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}