{"id":1397,"date":"2012-09-03T00:00:58","date_gmt":"2012-09-03T04:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1397"},"modified":"2012-09-02T16:37:26","modified_gmt":"2012-09-02T20:37:26","slug":"winter-chapter-20-03","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1397","title":{"rendered":"Winter – Chapter 20 – 03"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I was watching Jacqueline finish up with Thom and nursing a lip I\u2019d bitten bloody.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Jacqueline didn\u2019t curse much, but she\u2019d cursed today, and a lot, mostly aspersions on Thom\u2019s character and on his ability to get himself hurt, but at the same time she\u2019d tried to calmly reassure me that he\u2019d be fine.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>J.T. had joined her halfway through the patching process, his face pale and his chest bare except for bandages holding a heavy gauze pad against his shoulder.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He hadn\u2019t joined in her swearing.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019d just gone quietly to work.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>They were finishing up when Rory touched my shoulder and cleared his throat.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I turned, blinking blearily at him, realizing that my eyes were having trouble focusing.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat is it?\u201d I asked, glancing toward J.T. and Jacqueline before I stepped out of the shed where they were doing their work and into waning daylight.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The sound of hammers on roofs echoed distantly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Some of the others were working on the covered walkways at the far end of this row.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWas coming to let you know that we saw them on their way,\u201d he said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe ones who surrendered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2026\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He looked vaguely uncomfortable for a moment before he shook his head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI gave them a mark.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In case they try to come back someday.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>In case something happens to the people who saw their faces today and they try to come back.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My stomach twisted uncomfortably.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHow, Rory?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He glanced down at his hand, then held it up slowly, palm up, fingers slightly curled.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>A tiny, flickering blue-white flame appeared, then faded as he curled his hand into a fist.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHoly crap,\u201d I whispered, forcing myself not to rock back against my heels.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cRory, when did you\u2014”<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ve been practicing since the day Leah ran,\u201d he said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m the only one with really strong offensive ability, Mar.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve got to be able to control it if it\u2019s going to be useful.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2014I guess so,\u201d I said, my eyes meeting his.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I didn\u2019t like the look of discomfort I saw flicker across his face.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAre you okay?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He shrugged.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDoes it matter?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYeah,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYeah, Rory, it matters.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He stared off into the distance for a few long moments before he spoke, not looking at me right away.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m afraid of myself,\u201d he said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m afraid that there\u2019s some kind of monster inside of me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I hear these whispers from inside when I bring up the fire, telling me that I can do more, telling me that I <\/span>should<\/span><\/em> do more.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s not like something out there is whispering to me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s something inside of me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t want to turn into some kind of psychopath.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m <\/span>not<\/span><\/em> some kind of psychopath.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOf course not.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019ve been fascinated by fire for as long as I\u2019ve known you, though.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s just your subconscious or something.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 Or is it?<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>I took his hand and squeezed it tightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEverything\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cRight,\u201d he said, his tone vaguely disbelieving.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnyway, I just was coming to tell you that.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And to offer my service when it comes to burning the bodies.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDid they get them piled up?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cLooted and piled,\u201d he confirmed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOut near the drive.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I told them to wait on the wood, though.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I might be able to take care of it without wasting some of the deadwood.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After you just told me what you told me, Rory, you\u2019re volunteering to do that?<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAre you sure it\u2019s a good idea?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe sooner I sort this out for myself, the better off we\u2019ll all be,\u201d Rory mumbled.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cRight?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I exhaled softly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cRight,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDo you want me to come with you?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He looked beyond me, toward the building where Jacqueline and J.T. were still at work, then slowly shook his head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNo,\u201d he said quietly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou belong here.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll ask Greg and Drew to come with me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>If I go off the rails, Drew\u2019ll stop me.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTake Phelan, too,\u201d I told him.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTalk to him about this.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He might be able to help.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 And if there\u2019s something to worry about, he\u2019ll tell me.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Rory nodded.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAll right.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He squeezed my hand.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThom\u2019ll be fine.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You shouldn\u2019t worry about that.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 His breath stirred the hairs on the back of my neck and I shivered slightly, glancing up over my shoulder at him and away from the sleeping bundle in my arms.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cCouldn\u2019t sleep?\u201d he murmured.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I shook my head, leaning back against his chest.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His arms closed around the baby and I and I relaxed in fractions, by inches.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBad dreams,\u201d I said softly.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBad dreams,\u201d he echoed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBad dreams or bad visions?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He rested his cheek against my ear, his voice rumbling through my bones.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I pressed closer.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHopefully the former and not the latter,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Our son stirred in my arms, yawning and squirming, then quieted.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His eyes blinked open, as blue as an October sky.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I smiled faintly and brushed fine, dark hair away from his forehead.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIf it\u2019s the latter, I don\u2019t like the road ahead, Thom.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s not going to be a happy one.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>His arms tightened briefly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cFor all of us?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I nodded slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cFor any and all.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I hope it\u2019s just nightmares.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat did you see?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDeath,\u201d I whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd a lot of it.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be the first time,\u201d he reminded me.<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI know,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI know.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat was it this time?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Raiders?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Another beastie?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAll of them.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And plague.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I felt him wince.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He gently turned me to face him and put his hand on my cheek.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>They were rough from chopping wood and repairing roofs.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt was just a nightmare,\u201d he told me softly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWe\u2019re not <\/span><\/em>that<\/span> unlucky, right?\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I laughed a weak, broken laugh.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNot since the first year.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He pressed a kiss firmly to my forehead and settled his arms around my shoulders.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We stood there, three that were one, for a long, long time.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI know he will be,\u201d I said, mustering up a smile.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ve seen too much of him in the future for him to die today.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Rory smiled back, gave my hand one more squeeze, then walked away.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>After a moment, I turned and followed him.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I was watching Jacqueline finish up with Thom and nursing a lip I\u2019d bitten bloody.\u00a0 Jacqueline didn\u2019t curse much, but she\u2019d cursed today, and a lot, mostly aspersions on Thom\u2019s character and on his ability to get himself hurt, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,59,14,52,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-2","category-chapter-20","category-story","category-winter","category-year-one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-mx","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1397"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1397\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1398,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1397\/revisions\/1398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}