{"id":1413,"date":"2012-09-10T00:00:47","date_gmt":"2012-09-10T04:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1413"},"modified":"2012-09-09T16:25:06","modified_gmt":"2012-09-09T20:25:06","slug":"winter-chapter-20-06","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=1413","title":{"rendered":"Winter – Chapter 20 – 06"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Her name was Phillipa, and she\u2019d been a student at Northern before things went to shit.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We found that out as we stood near the pyre, watching bodies burn down to ash and nothing.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>After a while, Matt took her by the hand and led her away.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I sent Greg to follow them, to make sure that Matt got the wounds he\u2019d tried to hide from me taken care of.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Drew lingered a little longer before Phelan waved him away.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>If Rory was going to come unglued during this, it would have happened already.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>It seemed to take less tending after he got the bodies to catch initially, and by the end, as it slowly began to burn down to a few feet deep, a smoldering pile, he stood nearby, sweating and watching the blue-white flames.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019s not natural fire, is it?\u201d I said softly, not sure if I was saying it to Phelan or to Rory as I eased up alongside of my friend.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know what it is,\u201d Rory whispered next to me, his hands curled into fists as he watched the flickering light.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Every so often the pyre threw out embers that flared white and faded to orange and red before dying against the ground.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPart of me feels alive and part of me feels sick.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He wet his lips and looked at Phelan and I.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat the hell am I?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I put my arm around his shoulders and squeezed him tightly for a brief moment, smothering a wince at how warm to the touch he was.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019re still who you\u2019ve always been,\u201d I said quietly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019ve just begun to unlock whatever was inside of you all this time.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s all.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Your eyes are open.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He shivered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou don\u2019t have to be here, Mar.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Go back to Thom.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He needs you now.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Liar.<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>I shook my head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSomeone will come and get me when they\u2019re finished.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>If someone doesn\u2019t, then he\u2019s fine and I don\u2019t need to worry.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Rather let him rest and not get myself worked into a lather.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Rory choked on a laugh.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSo I\u2019m a distraction from your husband getting shot and probably having another broken rib.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Thanks, Marin.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That makes me feel fantastic.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019re doing a good job at it,\u201d I said, forcing cheer into my voice and giving him another squeeze.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He slumped against me and sighed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I wrapped both arms around him and stared at the pyre.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnd you\u2019ve done what needed to get done here,\u201d I added, my voice quieter now.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThis will keep on burning without us.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Let\u2019s go back.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou should eat something,\u201d Phelan said to him.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ve been listening to your stomach for the past twenty minutes.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m not sure it\u2019ll stay in me,\u201d Rory said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He let me turn him around, back toward the open gateway and camp.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He threw one last look at the pyre before we started to walk away.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMy stomach\u2019s a mess.”
\n<\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019ll stay in,\u201d Phelan said knowingly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe first time you do something like this is always hard, but you\u2019ll recover.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Food\u2019ll help.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I think I heard something about bread and stew.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>My own stomach rumbled softly at the idea of food.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I suppressed a sigh.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>For all that I was pretending I wasn\u2019t worried about Thom, it was a lie.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I was more than a little worried, and as soon as I got Rory squared away, I\u2019d be going to him, sure as the sunrise.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019re trying to take care of everyone except for the person that matters the most to you.\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s quite a change, isn\u2019t it?<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Rory straightened and pulled away once we\u2019d crossed through the gateway into camp.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cGo,\u201d he said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ll bring you food once I\u2019ve choked something down.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I tousled his hair.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou won\u2019t choke it down.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019ll enjoy it.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It won\u2019t taste like sawdust, I promise.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He gave me a startled look but nodded.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201c\u2026sure.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I hope you\u2019re right.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI am.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I squeezed his arm and glanced at Phelan.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Phelan smiled gently at me.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ll check on things by the fire.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Go on, <\/span>leann\u00e1n<\/span><\/em>.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He might need you now if he\u2019s awake.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I almost hope he\u2019s still asleep.\u00a0 <\/span>I wonder if anyone\u2019s sitting with him right now.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>We parted company with each other and I wandered toward the shed where Jacqueline and J.T. had been working on Thom.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>J.T. was sitting in the open doorway, staring up at the sky as I approached, his hands clean and an empty bucket sitting next to his feet.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>His eyes flicked up at the sound of my footsteps. I didn\u2019t peer beyond him right away, just stopped far enough away that I couldn\u2019t see in through the doorway.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Lantern light still spilled out around J.T., but it was dimmer now.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHow bad was it?\u201d I asked softly, hugging my arms across my chest.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt could have been a lot worse,\u201d J.T. answered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cJac had everything pretty well in hand, all told, by the time I got here.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was just finding the damn bullet and pulling it out before it started wandering around inside of him and causing more problems.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He patted the spot next to him in the doorway.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I came and sat down, peeking in briefly.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Thom was asleep, his face turned toward the wall, his breathing even and his chest bare except for blood-tinged bandages wrapped around his chest.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I looked away again, toward the dirt and gravel just beyond my toes.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>J.T. put his good arm around me and squeezed gently.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThe rib\u2019s broken and there\u2019s a bunch of torn muscles, but he\u2019ll live.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Relief flooded through me and I nodded slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cGood,\u201d I said in a whisper, drawing my knees sup to my chest.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHas he been awake?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Does he know?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>He shook his head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cNah.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Jac dosed him with something to keep him out\u2014something Phelan taught her, I think.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s for the best, if you ask me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019d rather be asleep right now.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHow\u2019s your shoulder?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ll live.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>He gave me a squeeze, then slowly stood up.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThough right now I\u2019m going to go get some of what Thom\u2019s getting right now.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You can help him back to your spot when he wakes up.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It should be okay.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThanks, Jay.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAnytime.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Just try to talk him into not falling on any more bullets.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I laughed weakly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019ll try.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDo or do not, Mar,\u201d he said as he lumbered away.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I just shook my head, sitting on the threshold for a moment longer.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Then I got up and went inside out of the chill wind and the damp that was beginning to settle into my bones.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The night to come, I suspected, was going to be unpleasant indeed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Her name was Phillipa, and she\u2019d been a student at Northern before things went to shit.\u00a0 We found that out as we stood near the pyre, watching bodies burn down to ash and nothing.\u00a0 After a while, Matt took … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,59,14,52,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-2","category-chapter-20","category-story","category-winter","category-year-one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-mN","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1413","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1413"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1413\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1414,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1413\/revisions\/1414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}