\u201cAre you still walking on eggshells about all of that?\u201d\u00a0 Kellin asked. \u201cYour visions and hers and all of that?\u00a0 I mean, I don\u2019t think you are, but it\u2019s been a while since anyone\u2019s talked about it, so I thought I\u2019d ask.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe promised when we got married that we\u2019d be honest with each other,\u201d Thom said quietly, his heart giving a painful squeeze.\u00a0 I wish that meant that we wouldn\u2019t keep secrets from each other, but I\u2019m a fool if I think she doesn\u2019t keep a few from me and I know damned well that she knows I have a few secrets I\u2019m keeping from her.<\/i>\u00a0 It made him feel guilty, though perhaps not as much as it should have.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re talking about it when it happens.\u201d\u00a0 When it\u2019s not too terrible to talk about, anyway.<\/i><\/p>\n
Kellin took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, nodding.\u00a0 \u201cGood.\u00a0 Good.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He managed to smile.\u00a0 \u201cWere you worried?\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled back.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe a little.\u00a0 She was worried about you for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, now it\u2019s my turn to worry about her.\u201d\u00a0 Not that I ever really stopped.\u00a0 I just get to continue worrying about her\u2014just like I always have.<\/i><\/p>\n
Just like I hope I always will.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cYou okay, Thom?\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded in response to J.T.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I\u2019m okay.\u00a0 Just thinking.\u00a0 I never really stopped worrying about her.\u201d<\/p>\n
J.T.\u2019s brows rose and Kellin cocked her head to one side.\u00a0 Thom winced.<\/p>\n
I said more than I meant to, I think.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cSo you broke up because you loved her?\u201d\u00a0 Kellin asked curiously.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s\u2026kind of crazy and romantic at the same time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t say you didn\u2019t do the same with Jamie,\u201d Thom countered, regretting it almost immediately as Kellin winced and looked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d she said after a moment. \u00a0\u201cI broke things off with Jamie because I loved her.\u00a0 I knew she was leaving and it didn\u2019t feel right to tie her to me like that when god only knows when we\u2019d see each other again.\u201d\u00a0 She smiled weakly.\u00a0 \u201cThat doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t regret it all the time, because I really do.\u00a0 I miss her a lot.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even know if she\u2019s alive.\u00a0 I hope she is.\u00a0 I hope she\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thom shivered.\u00a0 That was almost Marin and I.\u00a0 Hell.\u00a0 We got lucky.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t go to the city and she hadn\u2019t left for the East Coast.\u00a0 We were <\/i>damned lucky.<\/i>\u00a0 \u201cI hope she is, too.\u201d\u00a0 His lips thinned.\u00a0 \u201cIs that part of why you\u2019re so keen on this whole\u2026trading thing?\u201d<\/p>\n
Kellin glanced sidelong at J.T.\u00a0 \u201cThom thinks it\u2019s a terrible idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
J.T.\u2019s brows rose again and he looked at his friend.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do you think it\u2019s a terrible idea?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Thom frowned, taking a sip of coffee to buy himself time to think.\u00a0 \u201cIt worries me.\u00a0 Sending some of us out into nowhere in search of things that may or may not be out there to find.\u00a0 I\u2019m worried that something bad will happen to anyone who goes and that we\u2019ll never find out what happened to them it something does.\u201d\u00a0 His brows knit.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s always the possibility of leading new trouble here, too.\u00a0 People who want to take things that we have once they see what we have to trade.\u201d<\/p>\n
Kellin shook her head a little.\u00a0 \u201cWe can\u2019t live in fear, Thom.\u00a0 If we live in fear, every nasty, dark thing out there in the world wins.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to make the most of our situation\u2014and live as part of this brave new world whether we want to or not.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think cocooning ourselves here is an option.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course it\u2019s an option<\/i>,\u201d J.T. said with a wry smile.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just not a good option.\u00a0 You have to admit, Thom, she\u2019s right about one thing. We can\u2019t spend the rest of our lives scared of what might happen or who might show up here to take our stuff.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll we can do is move forward and hope that we\u2019ll rise to whatever occasion arises.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cAre you still walking on eggshells about all of that?\u201d\u00a0 Kellin asked. \u201cYour visions and hers and all of that?\u00a0 I mean, I don\u2019t think you are, but it\u2019s been a while since anyone\u2019s talked about it, so I thought … Continue reading