Sif stared at his retreating back for a long moment, her lips barely moving as she finally voiced a question, one directed almost accusatorially at Phelan.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told him I slept with his brother?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t me,\u201d Phelan said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cThough I won\u2019t deny that I knew about it.\u00a0 The first I\u2019d seen of him was when he showed up with Neve.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thom wasn\u2019t quite sure if it was a lie or not.\u00a0 He slid his arm around Marin\u2019s shoulders and pulled her tight against his side.\u00a0 \u201cCome on,\u201d he murmured.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s get ourselves someplace warmer than out here in the wind.\u201d<\/p>\n
She leaned into his embrace, glancing back toward Phelan and Sif as Thom turned her away, back toward the gates.\u00a0 \u201cShe looks like he just ripped her guts out,\u201d she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear what she\u2019d said.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t imagine what making that choice would have been like.\u201d<\/p>\n
He shuddered and held her a little tighter.\u00a0 \u201cYou and I will never know,\u201d he said, kissing her temple.\u00a0 Loss, though…we may know that.\u00a0 I just hope that we never will.<\/i><\/p>\n
Thom squeezed his eyes shut briefly.\u00a0 Dreams had been stirring again, coming in the very darkest, deepest depths of the night, the same dreams that had made him push her away in the past, the dreams that made him fearful of a future where the two of them were together.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you okay?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d he lied, suppressing a shiver.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThom.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMar, don\u2019t ask me,\u201d he said, shaking his head slightly, staring at their feet.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t ask me when you know I\u2019m not okay but I haven\u2019t said anything and then expect me not to lie about it.\u00a0 I love you, but sometimes there are things that I just\u2026that I can\u2019t bring myself to say.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is about something you\u2019re seeing.\u201d<\/p>\n
He squeezed his eyes shut.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Something I don\u2019t want to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe made a promise, Thom.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOne you and I have both broken already.\u201d\u00a0 He opened his eyes and stared at her.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t tell me that there aren\u2019t things that you\u2019ve held back, that you\u2019ve kept from me.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked away and that told him all he needed to know.\u00a0 He just nodded slightly and squeezed her a little tighter against his ribcage.\u00a0 Those ribs still ached sometimes when the wind blew at its coldest, when the pressure shifted with the coming of a storm.\u00a0 Sometimes, he wondered if they always would.<\/p>\n
The rest of the time, he knew it didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre they as bad as what I\u2019ve been keeping from you?\u201d he asked in a bare whisper.<\/p>\n
Her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 What have you been keeping from me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI keep seeing you dying.\u201d\u00a0 The words came out choked, pain blooming in his chest even as he voiced them.\u00a0 \u201cI thought that we had done enough to change that future, but I still keep seeing it.\u00a0 I can\u2019t\u2026Mar, I can\u2019t lose you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stiffened and looked up at him.\u00a0 \u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean when?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen do you see it happening?\u201d\u00a0 She stopped and turned toward him, took his face between her gloved palms.\u00a0 \u201cWhen do you see it happening?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2014when our son is maybe twelve, thirteen.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not going to die then, Thom.\u201d\u00a0 She stood on tip-toe and kissed him soundly, holding him tightly for a moment in the weak light of dawn.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to die then.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her breath was warm against his ear and for a moment, he dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, she was right.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I keep seeing it,\u201d he said in a broken voice.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do I keep seeing it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d she said as her fingers laced through his hair.\u00a0 \u201cBut we\u2019ll figure that out together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thom wrapped his arms around his wife\u2019s waist and held her tightly, squeezing his eyes shut against the bitter, stinging tears that threatened.\u00a0 \u201cWe can\u2019t unravel this riddle fast enough\u00a0 Trust me on that.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shivered and his arms tightened.\u00a0 Something in his gut told him that despite her reassurances, she was as shaken as he was by the revelation.<\/p>\n
What the hell does she know that she\u2019s not telling me?<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cYou two all right?\u201d\u00a0 Phelan asked as he limped past them, Sif drifting in his wake.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d Thom said.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, everything\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Phelan studied him a moment before nodding.\u00a0 \u201cRight.\u00a0 Well, Matt was getting some breakfast set and I don\u2019t know about the two of you, but I\u2019m starving and I\u2019d rather get to the oatmeal before Thordin eats it all.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thom managed to laugh, hoping it didn\u2019t sound strangled as he did.\u00a0 \u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything will be fine,\u201d Marin murmured into his chest even as Thom watched Phelan and Sif continue back toward the gate.<\/p>\n
\u201cRight,\u201d Thom said again, his heart giving a painful squeeze.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re not, what\u2019s the point in fighting for anything anymore?<\/i><\/p>\n
I don\u2019t want to live in this world if you\u2019re not in it.<\/i><\/p>\n
Her arms loosened from around him and she stepped back, eyes shining in the dim.\u00a0 Marin smiled and Thom smiled back.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She took him by the hand and led him back toward home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sif stared at his retreating back for a long moment, her lips barely moving as she finally voiced a question, one directed almost accusatorially at Phelan. \u201cYou told him I slept with his brother?\u201d \u201cIt wasn\u2019t me,\u201d Phelan said quietly.\u00a0 … Continue reading