{"id":256,"date":"2011-05-30T00:00:46","date_gmt":"2011-05-30T04:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=256"},"modified":"2011-05-30T00:00:46","modified_gmt":"2011-05-30T04:00:46","slug":"day-zero-chapter-5-04","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=256","title":{"rendered":"Day Zero – Chapter 5 – 04"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Thom?\u201d\u00a0 If she hadn\u2019t been so close, he never would have heard the question.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNothing,\u201d he lied quietly, tilting his face toward hers.\u00a0 \u201cPain in my ankle.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 It\u2019s passing, now.\u201d\u00a0 It can\u2019t be real.\u00a0 It cannot be real.\u00a0 I\u2019m not\u2026I can\u2019t\u2026I can\u2019t face it if it is.\u00a0 I can\u2019t\u2026we need her too much for me to be selfish.\u00a0 If\u2026<\/em>\u00a0 The thoughts died as she kissed him gently, one of her hands sliding up under his shirt, fingers cool against bruised flesh.\u00a0 He hissed softly.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she murmured softly.\u00a0 \u201cI can stop.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d he said quietly, almost begging and hating himself for it.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t stop.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s worth it.\u00a0 To be\u2026it\u2019s worth it.\u00a0 To be close to her, to Marin, my <\/em>love, is worth any of it.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t\u2026I can\u2019t lose you like that.\u00a0 I won\u2019t lose you like that.\u00a0 It can\u2019t be real.\u00a0 None of them can be real.\u00a0 None of it\u2026just you and I.\u00a0 What we feel for each other is real.\u00a0 None of the rest of that is.\u00a0 The rest is just bullshit.\u00a0 <\/em>We are real.\u00a0 All the rest, it\u2019s just imaginings.\u00a0 Fear making me see things that aren\u2019t real.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 This is real.\u00a0 You and I here, this is real.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I need.<\/em>\u00a0 He kissed her ear gently, then drew her closer against him, working the hand that had been playing with her hair underneath the blankets, underneath her body to slowly creep up her spine.\u00a0 She shivered, sighing in delight, then shifted, rocking herself up onto her knees along the side of his body, knees straddling one of his legs.\u00a0 His hand drifted down, fingertips grazing the flesh of her hip.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to hurt you,\u201d she murmured as she leaned down over him, hands planted to either side of his shoulders, holding herself up above him.\u00a0 She leaned down to kiss him, and he found himself unable to breathe for a few moments as he lost himself in the taste of her.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt would be worth it,\u201d he mumbled, all but breathless, against her lips.\u00a0 He could feel himself responding to her touch, to her nearness, though realization that she was right, that she really could<\/em> hurt him badly, worse than he was, cooled his passions slightly.\u00a0 She could do a lot of damage if we did this tonight.<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She straightened, the blankets slipping from her shoulders.\u00a0 He shivered in the sudden chill, licking his lips as he watched her smile sadly down at him in the dim.\u00a0 \u201cNot if it kills you, Thom,\u201d she whispered softly, leaning down to kiss him one more time before lying down next to him again, leaving one leg curled around his almost possessively.\u00a0 He shuddered slightly, willing calm on himself.\u00a0 She ran her hand gently along his belly and that very nearly undid him.\u00a0 He drew a shaking breath and drew her tightly against his side, ignoring the twinges in his ribs.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAlmost worth it,\u201d he murmured, managing to smile.\u00a0 She laughed quietly.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019d wake everyone else anyway,\u201d she said, then went quiet again, pressed against his side, sharing his warmth and he hers.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The sleety rain continued to fall, punctuated by rumbles of thunder and flashes of lightning.\u00a0 Neither fell back to sleep right away, they just lay together and listened to the storm, each half lost in their own thoughts but feeling safer for the presence of the other so near.\u00a0 He wrapped his fingers around the hand she left resting against his breastbone and squeezed her fingers, staring up into the darkness.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re going to have to bust our asses if all of us are going to survive,<\/em> he thought.\u00a0 And even then it\u2019s not going to be easy at all.\u00a0 Food, permanent shelter, water, safety\u2026can we even hope to survive out here alone?\u00a0 Forty of us?\u00a0 Almost too many to keep fed.\u00a0 Where are we going to get food?\u00a0 How are we going to get food, if things get worse? \u00a0What if today was the last of summer we\u2019ll see in years?\u00a0 Have they been thinking about this stuff while I\u2019ve been out?<\/em>\u00a0 He frowned to himself slightly.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAre you all right?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She knows me too well sometimes, I think.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cJust thinking,\u201d he murmured back. \u201cThings you\u2019ll yell at me for.\u00a0 Logistics.\u00a0 Food.\u00a0 Survival.\u201d<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMmph.\u00a0 The only survival that should concern you at the moment, Thomas Ambrose, is your own.\u201d\u00a0 She kissed his shoulder and sighed, grip on him tightening.\u00a0 \u201cMore than enough time for you to get worried over logistics after you\u2019ve healed up a little.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She sounds so sure of it.\u00a0 I wish I was.<\/em>\u00a0 He closed his eyes and nodded slightly.\u00a0 She ruffled his hair gently.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou should get some sleep,\u201d she said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cSo should I.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He nodded mutely, knowing she\u2019d feel it.\u00a0 It was just so hard, killing the worry, not being concerned.\u00a0 It was just too<\/em> hard sometimes.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I have to trust them, though, in our friends.\u00a0 I have to trust that they\u2019ll make sure we survive the short term so we can have the luxury of worrying about the long term once that\u2019s settled.\u00a0 Who knows?\u00a0 Maybe we\u2019re wrong and this isn\u2019t the end.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we\u2019re wrong.\u00a0 But maybe we are.<\/em>\u00a0 He shivered once, struggling to put the vision of her slipping away out of his mind\u2014not the first he\u2019d had, that was for certain\u2014and closed his eyes, holding her close and letting sleep finally take him as the rain continued to fall.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Thom?\u201d\u00a0 If she hadn\u2019t been so close, he never would have heard the question. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNothing,\u201d he lied quietly, tilting his face toward hers.\u00a0 \u201cPain in my ankle.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 It\u2019s passing, now.\u201d\u00a0 It can\u2019t be real.\u00a0 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter-5","category-day-zero"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-48","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=256"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}