Phelan came back with a cup of steaming, fragrant tea and stopped in the doorway, staring at me, at the look on my face. His brows knit and he came to six next to me on the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said as he pressed the mug into my hand. \u201cI know you don\u2019t want to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not that,\u201d I whispered, taking the mug and cradling it between my palms, letting my deck rest in my lap, out of hand but not forgotten. I exhaled a weak sigh. \u201cIt\u2019s not that I don\u2019t want to answer whatever questions you have, Phelan, whatever you need me to answer\u2014it\u2019s not that at all. I\u2019m afraid of what they\u2019ll tell me and that I\u2019ll have to give you terrible, awful news. That\u2019s why I\u2019m reluctant about this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe it won\u2019t be bad,\u201d he said, a hint of faint hope to his voice. I laughed weakly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen has that ever been the case?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, there\u2019s a first time for everything, le\u00e1nnan<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. \u201cThat\u2019s true. Maybe I should be more optimistic.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019d be a start.\u201d He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me against him for a second. I sighed, slumping slightly. He smelled of herbs and pine needles and woodsmoke and in that moment, I missed Thom terribly.<\/p>\n \u201cThey can\u2019t come home soon enough,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n Phelan looked down at me, eyes crinkling at the corners. \u201cYou\u2019re missing Thom?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA lot all of a sudden,\u201d I said. \u201cThey haven\u2019t been gone that long.\u201d What am I going to do when the day comes when he\u2019s gone for weeks or months at a time? This is just a short trip, a scouting run.<\/em><\/p>\n If I\u2019m feeling this way, what about the others? Neve and Leinth must be feeling as badly\u2014or worse. And then Carolyn…<\/em><\/p>\n I shook my head and mustered up a smile. \u201cI\u2019ll be fine,\u201d I assured him. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about that.\u201d<\/p>\n Phelan gave me a crooked smile and nodded. \u201cI know it\u2019s not easy, le\u00e1nnan<\/em>. It wouldn\u2019t be love if it was.\u201d<\/p>\n I laughed. \u201cHow would you know?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBecause I\u2019m finally in it.\u201d He squeezed me again and let go. \u201cDo you need a few minutes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cJust a few sips of tea. Get your questions ready.\u201d<\/p>\n My fingers brushed against the cards and a strange tremor went through me.<\/p>\n They were ready to be read, whether I liked it or not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Phelan came back with a cup of steaming, fragrant tea and stopped in the doorway, staring at me, at the look on my face. His brows knit and he came to six next to me on the bed. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d … Continue reading