{"id":2824,"date":"2016-04-11T00:00:26","date_gmt":"2016-04-11T04:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=2824"},"modified":"2016-04-08T10:32:44","modified_gmt":"2016-04-08T14:32:44","slug":"twenty-nine-04-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=2824","title":{"rendered":"Twenty-nine – 04"},"content":{"rendered":"

[This post is from Matt’s point of view.]<\/em><\/p>\n

Her tears fell hot against his cheeks. Matt\u2019s mind reeled.<\/p>\n

What the hell is going on?<\/em><\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t quite make sense of the storm that had begun inside of him. Had he really loved her in a past life\u2014in his life as C\u00edar mac D\u00fabhshl\u00e1in, during his time as the Ridden Druid? How? When?<\/p>\n

There were too many questions, ones with answers that hung just beyond his reach. His thoughts had fragmented, scattered like glass dashed against a hard kitchen floor.<\/p>\n

And yet, he didn\u2019t stop kissing her, didn\u2019t push her away when she broke off the kiss. She sobbed and he put his arms around her, heart pounding hard against his ribs.<\/p>\n

What the hell am I doing?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re crying,\u201d he said, then mentally kicked himself. Brilliant. Could you have said a stupider thing?<\/em><\/p>\n

The problem was, he probably could<\/em> have if he\u2019d been thinking more or less clearly.<\/p>\n

Hecate nodded, her face against his shoulder. \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

At least she had the grace to apologize\u2014but what, exactly, was she actually apologizing for<\/em>? There were a lot of things she could<\/em> have been apologizing for, and Matt was fairly certain she wasn\u2019t apologizing for everything.<\/p>\n

He must have stiffened without realizing it, because she drew back and met his gaze steadily despite her apparent emotion. Hecate reached up to wipe her tears away with a thumb and took a deep breath before she spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cI shouldn\u2019t have kept going after your friends,\u201d she said softly, then slowly stood up. \u201cThere are some things I can\u2019t quite control. Sometimes I just…do things, things that if I was thinking clearly, I wouldn\u2019t do. It\u2019s been that way for a long time.\u201d She glanced down. \u201cIt happens a lot more than it doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned away and started for the door. Matt\u2019s voice lodged in his throat.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI never really wanted to hurt any of you,\u201d she said as she paused by the door. It seemed like it took a great deal of effort for her to turn, to look at him. \u201cI just miss him. I\u2019ve always missed him. He was the only one who ever really made me feel like I was worth something and then I lost him. I\u2019ve been chasing that feeling ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then she was gone, out the door, and he was alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[This post is from Matt’s point of view.] Her tears fell hot against his cheeks. Matt\u2019s mind reeled. What the hell is going on? He couldn\u2019t quite make sense of the storm that had begun inside of him. Had he … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[124,201,14],"tags":[150,171,170,194,181,149,148,168,147,165,146],"class_list":["post-2824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-5","category-chapter-29-book-5","category-story","tag-awakenings","tag-fantasy","tag-fiction","tag-hecate","tag-matthew-astoris","tag-original-fiction","tag-post-apocalyptic","tag-serial","tag-serial-fiction","tag-story","tag-web-fiction"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-Jy","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2824"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2826,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2824\/revisions\/2826"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}