{"id":431,"date":"2011-07-22T00:00:56","date_gmt":"2011-07-22T04:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=431"},"modified":"2011-07-22T00:00:56","modified_gmt":"2011-07-22T04:00:56","slug":"day-7-chapter-8-marin-05","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=431","title":{"rendered":"Day 7 – Chapter 8 – Marin – 05"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The storm swept in within ten minutes of the first peal of thunder, rain falling in impenetrable sheets as lightning flashed and thunder rolled, shaking everything from the tent\u2019s roof to the ground beneath our feet.\u00a0 Our meeting broke up after my unfortunate bout with a visionary\u2019s gift rearing its fair head and Thom and I retreated together back into our cubby.\u00a0 One of J.T.\u2019s kittens followed us, ensconcing herself in my lap and playing with the corner of my blanket.\u00a0 Near the fire, Matt was sorting out how to make toast without the proper camping tools for doing so, some of the others still with him. \u00a0Most, though, had followed our lead and retreated back to their beds to try to get a little more rest as long as we weren\u2019t trying to keep anything from blowing away\u2014yet.\u00a0 The wind tugged at the tent\u2019s walls, whistled up and under the eaves in the few spots were we hadn\u2019t clipped the walls to the top, to keep fresh air flowing in and the smoke from the fires flowing out.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The sooner we have houses with fireplaces or stoves and chimneys,<\/em> I decided, the better.<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re sure you\u2019re okay?\u201d\u00a0 Thom murmured in my ear after a long period of silence.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I nodded, ruffling the kitten\u2019s ears.\u00a0 She was purring, butting her head against my palm.\u00a0 \u201cYeah,\u201d I said softly.\u00a0 \u201cI just\u2026mostly it was just seeing what I saw a couple days ago, just faster, more in bits and snatches.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe explosion?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I nodded again.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know when it\u2019s coming or if it\u2019s coming.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s just my subconscious making shit up.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it is, but at this point, I\u2019m not sure.<\/em>\u00a0 Lying to him hurt.\u00a0 I wanted to tell him the rest, what I\u2019d seen about the walls, about the houses and everything he must have built\u2014that he would<\/em> build\u2014but I held it back.\u00a0 \u201cHard to tell the difference anymore.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf it made you black out like that\u2026Mar, you never black out like that.\u00a0 You look like you\u2019re a thousand miles away sometimes, but you\u2019ve never blacked out.\u201d\u00a0 There it was, that undercurrent of worry in his voice.\u00a0 I suppose I couldn\u2019t blame him for it.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t like it, Marin.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It scares me, too, Thom.<\/em>\u00a0 I nodded a little.\u00a0 \u201cI know.\u201d\u00a0 I turned my face toward his neck and he exhaled quietly.\u00a0 Rain lashed against the roof of the tent, heavy, sounding more like pellets of ice than rain.\u00a0 I peeked toward the opening in the tent, though it wars hard to tell whether it was rain or hail through the smoke.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Greg Doyle eclipsed my view a moment later, easing into the dim light cast by the single lantern Thom and I had lit.\u00a0 He smiled weakly at us and gestured to the ground nearby.\u00a0 \u201cMind if I join you two?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, of course not.\u00a0 Have a seat.\u201d\u00a0 I curled my legs underneath me to give him a little more room to sit down.\u00a0 The kitten in my lap mewed at me, upset to have her perch move, then crawled around until she found a new position and curled back up again.\u00a0 I shook my head a little.\u00a0 Greg chuckled as he sat down.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think she likes you.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, we\u2019ll know for sure when she starts bringing me dead rodents in the middle of the night.\u201d\u00a0 I glanced toward the fire, where Greg had been sitting with my brother up until a few minutes ago.\u00a0 \u201cGet tired of him swearing over burning his fingers?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEh, I was underfoot and I can\u2019t help with the toast when I\u2019ve only got one arm to use.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced toward Thom, then at me.\u00a0 \u201cWhat happened before,\u201d he said slowly, voice low, \u201cthat was what you talked about those couple times you talked about precognition and clairvoyance at the meetings, wasn\u2019t it?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure he would remember.\u00a0 Those meetings were a long time ago.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cYes and no.\u00a0 It\u2019s never happened quite like that before.\u201d\u00a0 I glanced at Thom. He shook his head slightly, then shrugged.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I guess he\u2019s okay with the discussion, then.<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Greg just nodded slightly, settling down cross-legged, scratching the back of his neck with his good hand as he glanced around, making sure no one else was listening.\u00a0 \u201cAnd a couple days ago?\u00a0 When you\u2019d gone down in the ravine?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I shivered, trying not to think about it.\u00a0 I\u2019d rather just forget that happened, thanks.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t one of my finer moments.<\/em>\u00a0 I exhaled through my teeth.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about it?\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t look at Thom, even though he shifted a little uncomfortably.\u00a0 He knew as well as I did whose fault that<\/em> situation had been.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo one else is talking, but you didn\u2019t slip and get bruised up down there, did you?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d I said flatly.\u00a0 Does he know?\u00a0 Has he figured something out?<\/em>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEverything\u2019s out of true,\u201d he said quietly, shaking his head.\u00a0 His expression was maybe a little sad as he glanced away from Thom and I, toward the weeping sky.\u00a0 \u201cThe balance is broken and isn\u2019t going to come back.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My stomach flopped, crawling back on itself, trying to gnaw a hole out my spine.\u00a0 \u201cHow do you know?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He just shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cEverything that I spent ten, fifteen years looking for, the sense of the planet, of nature, of all of it\u2026it finally came, except it came too late.\u201d\u00a0 Greg gave me a wry smile.\u00a0 \u201cI was walking my path without being able to feel, but you knew that when you met me\u2014you and Kellin both.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I just nodded a little.\u00a0 When Kellin and I had met Dr. Gregory Doyle, Ph.D at one of the early meetings of the campus earth-based religions organization\u2014what a mouthful that had been, one I\u2019d railed against, since it was an alternative<\/em> religions group, but it was a fight I\u2019d lost\u2014we\u2019d both mistaken him for a student like Drew, who\u2019d come late to school after spending time working and doing other things before education became top priority.\u00a0 After talking to him for a little while, we\u2019d learned that he taught biology and had been struggling with his own religious beliefs and identity since his late teens.\u00a0 Despite being completely blind to the metaphysical ebb and flow of nature, he\u2019d found himself studying a more shamanistic path after graduate school.\u00a0 He\u2019d been an exercise in contradiction\u2014someone dedicated to a religion that believed everything had a spirit, but unable to feel the presence of those spirits.\u00a0 Kellin and I had known that pretty quickly after a walk around campus one night after a meeting.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSomething got you down there,\u201d he said.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I didn\u2019t deny it, just leaned into Thom, who tensed slightly.\u00a0 I felt him swallow.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat was it?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I shook my head.\u00a0 \u201cSomething that we thought was pretty benign but apparently turned angry when we started getting rained on by rocks.\u201d\u00a0 I grimaced, rubbing my arm.\u00a0 The cold patch was still there and still achy, even if the coloration had<\/em> mostly returned to normal.\u00a0 \u201cDrew had more experience with them before everything.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you think there was a reason they hit you specifically?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I shook my head even as my stomach flopped over.\u00a0 Had they targeted me specifically?\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d I said, swallowing my doubt.\u00a0 \u201cI was just a target of opportunity, I think.\u00a0 I was there<\/em>, and so were they.\u00a0 I was alone and vulnerable.\u00a0 So they struck.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thom\u2019s arms tightened around my waist.\u00a0 I tried to relax.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Greg nodded slowly.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s why Kellin put her foot down.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAbout people going down into the ravine alone?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 We\u2019d always had the rule, it\u2019s just\u2026we didn\u2019t always follow it.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, now we\u2019ve got an object lesson as to why.\u201d\u00a0 Greg hesitated for a moment, then said, \u201cNot everyone quite understands why, though.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cThey don\u2019t have to understand.\u201d\u00a0 Not yet.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cThey just have to listen.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd when they start asking why?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I really don\u2019t have to have to be the one explaining that.<\/em>\u00a0 I sighed.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know, Professor.\u00a0 I really don\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 I paused a moment, thinking about what he\u2019d said.\u00a0 \u201cYou can see things now, too?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 But I can feel and sense now in the ways I\u2019d always hoped to.\u00a0 In hindsight, maybe I\u2019d have been happier blind.\u201d\u00a0 He gave me another weak smile, then looked at Thom, then back at me.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I started to get up.\u00a0 \u201cYou two need to talk about the plans for the greenhouse.\u00a0 I\u2019ll go give Matt a hand.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have to\u2014\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I smiled at Thom and kissed his jaw gently.\u00a0 \u201cYou, sir, need to focus.\u00a0 I\u2019ll bring back breakfast.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After a moment\u2019s hesitation, he nodded.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t set anything on fire.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I laughed and left them, trying not to think about what Greg Doyle had said and how quickly things would unravel the moment we had to explain the things that most of our thirty-some companions couldn\u2019t see and exactly how much of an impact that had on our odds of survival.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The storm swept in within ten minutes of the first peal of thunder, rain falling in impenetrable sheets as lightning flashed and thunder rolled, shaking everything from the tent\u2019s roof to the ground beneath our feet.\u00a0 Our meeting broke … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter-8","category-day-7"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-6X","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}