{"id":971,"date":"2011-12-28T00:00:34","date_gmt":"2011-12-28T05:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=971"},"modified":"2011-12-28T10:09:40","modified_gmt":"2011-12-28T15:09:40","slug":"day-21-chapter-12-marin-23","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/?p=971","title":{"rendered":"Day 21 – Chapter 12 – Marin – 23"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin stared for a few long moments at the tarot deck, still sitting by my knee.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Her lips thinned for a moment, then she commanded, \u201cSpread the cards.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I tensed up for a moment, then took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and looked at her square.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI have a question I want to ask,\u201d she said, voice barely more than a whisper as she kept staring at the cards.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>A visible shudder ran through her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI want to know if I was supposed to live or die.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I stared at her, mouth dry, too shocked to speak.<\/span>\u00a0 She thought maybe she was <\/em><\/span>supposed<\/span> to die like that?\u00a0 <\/span>Why would she think that?<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>I started to shake my head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She grasped my hand.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI was <\/span>dying<\/span><\/em>, Marin, and I thought I was ready to go.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It felt like my time, even though I knew that you guys needed me, I had this overwhelming sense that even without me, you\u2019d be okay.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But something wouldn\u2019t let me go, like something holding me down, something that tethered me to my body, and then Jacqueline was there.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin put her hand to the scar across her throat.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know what she did.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I guess I\u2019m grateful for whatever it was, but I don\u2019t know <\/span>what<\/span><\/em> it was.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Honestly, I\u2019m not sure if she would know if we asked her.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin\u2019s fingers tightened for a moment, then she let go of me and drew her knees up to her chest.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cKel,\u201d I said softly, shaking my head a little.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter, whether it was meant to be or not.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019re still here.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>That\u2019s what matters.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIs it?\u201d she whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat if my survival\u2019s changed everything?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThen we cross that bridge when we get there,\u201d I said firmly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBesides,\u201d I continued, lying through my teeth and hoping she wouldn\u2019t notice, \u201cthe cards wouldn\u2019t give you a clear read on that.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>For a moment, I was all but certain she\u2019d caught me in the lie, but the accusation I expected never came.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She just slumped and sighed, shaking her head.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019s just a strange thing to feel,\u201d she murmured.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI can\u2019t even quite describe it.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cSounds like what I\u2019m feeling, too,\u201d Jacqueline said from behind Kellin.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She eased over toward us and sat down on the edge of the mattress between Kellin and I.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re both awake now.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m not sure who to talk to, or how.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What did I <\/span>do<\/span><\/em>?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou healed Kel.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Saved her life.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I didn\u2019t even know that was possible.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 But maybe Phelan\u2026maybe he\u2019d know, maybe he\u2019s aware of something like that being possible.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>They both eyed me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin spoke first.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019re thinking that someone might, though.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWho?\u201d Jacqueline asked.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIf not you two, then who?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Rory?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Professor Doyle?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPhelan,\u201d I said.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPhelan?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Who the heck is Phelan?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I smiled weakly at Jacqueline\u2019s question.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cA friend who just might have answers to a lot of questions we\u2019re finally starting to ask.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 Questions we can actually think about asking because we don\u2019t have to face the fact that we don\u2019t have anyone who even has a prayer of giving us an answer.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIs he the one I saw sitting with Thom?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Her nose wrinkled.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHe looks like some kind of vagabond.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I laughed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI think he kind of is one.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>She looked between Kellin and I, confusion contorting her expression.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin held up her hands in a vague gesture of surrender or defeat.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDon\u2019t look at me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve never met the man, but I\u2019ll admit to being able to sense the power in him, even from all the way over here.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hell, even unconscious.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Jacqueline shuddered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIs that why I\u2019ve got a little bit of the crawlies?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s like\u2026like a million bright little electric shocks across my skin\u2014they don\u2019t hurt, just tingle.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>And I know that electric shocks aren\u2019t <\/span>bright<\/span><\/em>, but if you can feel brightness, that\u2019s what I\u2019m feeling.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She looked sidelong at me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019re becoming aware\u2014Awake, like some of the rest of us,\u201d Kellin said, almost dully.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Jacqueline\u2019s head whipped around and she stared at Kellin as if she\u2019d grown a second head.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Her tone was flat, disbelieving.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYou have some kind of gift, Jac,\u201d I said, struggling to find the words to soften this blow for her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOne that you\u2019re just starting to realize you\u2019ve got.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAll I did was pray,\u201d she whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI prayed to God that he wouldn\u2019t take Kel from us.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We still need her.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She pressed her lips tightly together, face growing pale.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cCould this\u2026gift\u2026be how he answered that prayer?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMaybe,\u201d I said softly, reaching over and taking her hand.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEither way, whatever you did saved her life.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I cast a quick glance at Kellin, who\u2019d wrapped her arms around her knees again, then looked back at Jacqueline.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t know where our gifts come from, Jac\u2014that\u2019s never been the important part for me\u2014but if you choose to believe that god granted you yours, know that it happened for a reason.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>And he would never give me a burden I couldn\u2019t handle,\u201d she whispered, almost to herself.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Some of the fear-born rigidity faded from her posture.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>After another few moments, she smiled softly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDo you really think that\u2019s what it is?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>A gift?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cYes,\u201d I whispered.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cI do.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Her gaze sharpened slightly.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat about the others?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She whispered, fear creeping into her eyes.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPeople have been leaving, Matt told me.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because of what happened the other day, they\u2019ve been leaving.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEnough are still here,\u201d I mumbled.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Enough, or too many, whatever.\u00a0 <\/span>Either way, more will come.<\/span><\/em><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThis scares people, Mar,\u201d Jacqueline said.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cWhat\u2019re we going to do?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Kellin looked up.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cAt dinner, we\u2019re going to tell them.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What?<\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>I goggled at her.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Sure, the idea had crossed my own mind earlier, but I still wasn\u2019t sure that people were ready to hear whatever we might say.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTell them what, Kel?\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThat there\u2019s more to the world than what we used to see in our everyday lives.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>WE tell them that there\u2019s forces out there beyond the human or the divine and demonic that will haf effects on us going forward\u2014have already affected us in the past few weeks.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We tell them the <\/span>truth<\/span><\/em> and live with the consequences for good or ill.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I sighed.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Between the fight and Phelan\u2019s arrival, she was right.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Everyone who was left here needed to know.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Hopefully, Matt was right about people being made of sterner stuff.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Made of sterner stuff.\u00a0 <\/span>Better now than later.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>I glanced at Jacqueline, thinking briefly of Davon, who\u2019d think all of us were batshit crazy.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>But he\u2019d <\/span>stay<\/span><\/em>, because where else would he go?<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Wouldn\u2019t he?<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDo you think they\u2019ll be able to take it?\u201d Jacqueline asked in a small voice.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cEither they will or they won\u2019t,\u201d Kellin said tiredly, glancing at me.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019ll be okay,\u201d I said softly, fingers gliding over the cards before I tucked them completely away.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMatt seems to think so, anyway.\u201d<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMatt said you should tell everyone?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>There was a note of incredulity to Jacqueline\u2019s voice.<\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cMatt said he thought the people still here could handle it,\u201d I said quietly, staring at my hands.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I scooped up the box of tarot cards a moment later and got up to put them away.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cTonight, we\u2019ll find out if he was right.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Kellin stared for a few long moments at the tarot deck, still sitting by my knee.\u00a0 Her lips thinned for a moment, then she commanded, \u201cSpread the cards.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I tensed up for a moment, then took a deep … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[31,32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter-12","category-day-21"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1EBlN-fF","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/971","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=971"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/971\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":976,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/971\/revisions\/976"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/awakenings.embklitzke.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}