Awakenings

“You’re crazy,” Thordin blurted. “It’s not possible.”

But it was. Thom knew it with every leaden beat of his heart.

“Wake Phelan,” he said, his voice remarkably steady, sounding eerily calm. “Wake Neve, wake Cameron, wake Marin and J.T. and Kel. Get Sif and get Leinth. We’re going to need them.”

We’ll need all the power we can muster and then some, I’m afraid. We have to hope that our wards will be enough to turn them. They’ve turned everything else.

Then again, nothing’s been a force like this.

His fingers flexed and he got his feet back under him again, moving back toward the railing. Rory and Thordin watched him warily, as if they were afraid he’d fall or maybe throw himself over the railing and into the snow. “When you wake Marin, tell her to bring her bow and to bring my sword,” Thom said as he stared out into the night, searching for any hint of what he knew was coming—another flicker, another burst of light, another howl or hunting call.

Why here? What would we have that they’d want?

A chill worked its way down his spine. He could think of half a dozen things quickly enough.

“Thom—”

He tore his gaze away from the snow-covered landscape and looked at Thordin and Rory. “Why the hell are you two still here? Go wake them. Now.”

“I got it,” Rory said to Thordin. “Stay here.”

He scrambled down the ladder and into the snow. Thom could hear the faint sound of his boot crunching on the snow as his friend dashed away. Thordin met Thom’s gaze, expression grim.

“They shouldn’t be here,” Thordin said in a low voice.

“Neither should Cariocecus or Sif or Leinth—maybe not even you or Neve or Phelan. But you’re here and I know what’s coming. We have to be ready.”

“There’s not enough time.”

Thom turned away again, catching sight of a flicker in the distance out of the corner of his eye. “There’s never enough time.”

That’s why we have to try to be ready all the time, in any moment.

“We’ll make our stand,” Thom murmured. “We’ll deal with whatever threat they’re posing and we’ll make it through. We’ve done it before.”

We’ll do it again.

We have to.

Thom sprinted straight for the watchtower, scrambling up the ladder and joining Rory aloft. Thordin was only a few steps slower, a few steps behind. Rory glanced toward me momentarily, then squinted off into the darkness.

“What do you think it was?” I asked, heart thundering at twice normal speed.

“Magic,” Rory said flatly. “It was an explosion, out toward the lakeshore and further south. There’s a fight starting out there.”

Thom tried to follow his gaze. “How far?”

Another howl split the night, followed by the faint and echoing sound of a hunting horn. Thordin shook his head slowly. “Whoever it is, they’re close.”

“Bloody hell,” Thom muttered, squinting out into the darkness, trying to will his eyes into seeing—

“The Hunt rides again,” she whispered, pressed against his chest in their small tent. One of the horses nickered softly, pawing the ground. Thom shuddered, holding Marin tighter.

                “How do you know?”

                “I can feel it.” Her gaze flicked upward to meet his, a faint gleam of evergreen in her eyes. “Can’t you?”

                “I try not to.” Thom pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It was a bargain that—”

                “It was necessary,” she said. “It was necessary and it was not the wrong choice to make.”

                “Maybe,” Thom murmured. “Maybe.”

“Thom!”

He jerked, stumbling back. His heel caught on the edge of the opening in the floor where they climbed into and out of the tower. Panic surged, his heart leaping into his throat.

Thordin’s hand shot out and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, hauling him forward and tossing him to one side. Thom grunted as he hit the plank floor, breathing hard and trying to calm his racing heart.

“What the hell was that?” Rory asked.

“I know what’s coming,” Thom whispered, choking on the words. Tremors gripped him, shakes he couldn’t stop. “I know what’s coming and I’m not sure what it means.”

“What are you talking about?” Thordin asked. “Christos, Thom, you’re as white as death.”

The dead ride. They hunt.

“It’s the Wild Hunt,” Thom said. “The Wild Hunt is coming.”

Stars lit the night sky as they emerged into the cold. Thom shivered slightly, peering toward the watchtower, which stood dark. It was always dark when Rory had the watch—when most of them had the watch. They’d let their eyes adjust to the darkness, their low-light vision becoming better and better as they grew more and more used to nights lit by moonlight and stars.

Another howl echoed in the distance and Thom shivered, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “I left my sword with Marin.”

“That was probably ill-advised,” Thordin said as their boots crunched in the snow.

“Probably,” Thom agreed, glancing back over his shoulder. “Too late for that now, though. I think there’s a spare up in the tower.”

“Matt’s making good progress with axes,” Thordin said. “How’s he progressing with other blades?”

“He likes forging them more than wielding them. I don’t blame him.” He knows the earth, knows metals. He’s more grounded than the rest of us. Matt had never really talked about having a talent, but Thom suspected that he had one—something. Given the magnitude of Marin’s abilities, it struck him as near-impossible that Matt shouldn’t have a gift of his own.

After all, that radio probably exploded in his face for a reason.

Thom shivered slightly at the memory. The wounds were long healed, but the memory of that incident was still a raw, painful scar.

“I don’t, either,” Thordin said after a moment of contemplation. “He’s a good man, a gentle man.”

“Did you know the man he was before? The druid?”

“Ciar?” Thordin smiled faintly. “There are more than a few stories.”

“But did you know him?” Thom pressed, not sure why it suddenly felt important. Maybe it was because there was something tugging at the back of his brain, something he couldn’t fathom, couldn’t explain.

“I knew him,” Thordin said quietly. “I chased him, faced him in battle. It’s not an experience I’d be keen to repeat.”

“How did that happen? Facing him on a battlefield?”

Thordin snorted softly. “Accident. When he still Ridden, he was dangerous, a force to be reckoned with, one who could barely tell friend from foe. I had the misfortune of riding against him. We were lucky to escape with our lives—both he and I.”

A shudder ran through Thom. That doesn’t sound pleasant.

There was a bright flash in the distance coupled with a howl. Up in the tower, Rory swore, loudly.

“You two better get up here!” he shouted. “Because I think I know what I saw and I don’t like it!”

The sound of wolves howling roused him from a sound sleep.  Marin didn’t stir, even as Thom lay there next to her, his heart suddenly hammering against his chest.  One howl, another answering.

It’s just the pack coming back.  Must be.

He sucked in a pair of breaths, trying to calm his thundering heart.  He hoped it was nothing more than that.

Thom eased out of bed, swallowing bile as he did.  His stomach was unsettled the same way it was when he had his most disturbing visions, the ones that he wouldn’t remember until later.  Maybe it’s just because I got startled awake.  That could be it.  He dressed quickly and shoved his feet into his boots.

Marin had rolled toward the center of their bed, as if seeking his warmth.  Drawing their blankets more tightly around her, Thom leaned in and dropped a gentle kiss on her temple.

“Keep sleeping,” he whispered.  “I’ll be back soon.”

She murmured something unintelligible and curled into a ball. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Good. She needs the sleep.

The hall was chilly, though not as chilly as it would be once he finally made it to the tent.  He zipped his jacket and dug around in his pockets for his gloves, trying to remember who had the watch.

“Rory,” he muttered.  “He’s got the watch.”

If he hadn’t raised the alarm yet, all was probably well.

Probably.  Thom grimaced.  Probably isn’t for certain.

Thordin met him as he emerged from the hall.  The older man’s eyes were sunk into dark hollows, as if he hadn’t slept.  Maybe he hadn’t.

“You heard it, too?” he rumbled.

Thom nodded.  “Woke me out of a dead sleep.”  Assuming I wasn’t jerking awake out of a vision, anyway.  He knuckled his eyes, smothering a yawn.  “Marin’s still in bed.”

“Just about everyone is.  No alarm raised.”  Thordin’s gaze drifted toward the main flap.  “I have a bad feeling, Thom.”

“One that has nothing to do with Sif?”

Thordin grimaced.  “Can’t be sure it’s not that, but I’ve still got a bad feeling.”

“Well, let’s see what’s going on out there.”  Thom adjusted his gloves and headed for the chill of the late winter evening, Thordin at his heels.

Maybe I should have grabbed my sword before I came out here.

He hoped he wouldn’t regret having left it behind.

I found Leinth half an hour later, after I’d left Thom out by the wall to wrestle with his thoughts. She huddled under a borrowed blanket—two-layered fleece with snowflakes—with her knees drawn to her chest, watching from a distance as Drew talked to our werewolf visitor. She jerked, startled, when my fingers brushed her shoulder, gaze snapping toward me in a heartbeat.

She sagged as our eyes met. “Oh,” she said softly. “Seer, it’s you.”

I inclined my head. “You look like you’re about a thousand miles away.”

“I don’t deserve your hospitality,” she said softly, her gaze drifting back toward the pair she’d been watching. “But I’m grateful that Phelan and Neve offered it.”

I shrugged and sat down beside her. “You saved his life. We owe you that.”

“I owed that much to Seamus,” she said, resting her chin on her blanket-shrouded knee. “I did love him. I do love him. I don’t know that they believe me.”

The pain in her voice made my heart ache. Focus, Marin, focus. You came to ask for her help.

How can I ask for it now, though? I bit my lip. She glanced at me sidelong.

“You came for a reason,” she said.

“So did you.”

Leinth snorted humorlessly. “I had nowhere else to go, nowhere safe. I wasn’t even sure you’d welcome me when I came.”

“You don’t mean us any harm,” I said. “Hell, you showed up and warned us that Cameron was coming and that we shouldn’t kill him when he did.”

“I didn’t expect what’s happened,” she whispered. “I had no way to foresee this.”

“I saw them,” I blurted. “On the road before they made it here, I saw them. I dreamed about them, had visions about them. I knew that they were important.” I stared at her for a long moment, at her pale face and sad eyes. “I never saw a vision of you, though. Do you have any idea why?”

“Maybe I was just shielded from your sight,” she said softly.

She tugged her blanket tighter and I frowned.

She knows something.

But what the hell could that something be?

He rested his chin on my head and rubbed my back as he kept staring out over the snow.

“I’ve seen things, too,” he murmured in my ear.  “I know you fade and we have to leave and he’s still just a kid but you’ve still alive and I’d give anything to take care of you.  I have to hope that he’ll understand that when he’s older.  I know that you live and we make it back somehow.  Everything else between then and now…we have to make the best, Mar.  We have to do the best we can with what we’ve got.”

“You sound like me,” I muttered into his jacket.  Thom laughed quietly.

“Well, I guess maybe I’ve listened and learned something.”  He kissed my temple, then released me, giving me a long, hard look.  “How are you feeling right now?”

“Tired,” I said.  “Worried.  A little scared.  I don’t know what’s happening to me, Thom.  I know it scares Phelan—probably would scare him worse if he knew the actual extent of what’s going on.”

“What is going on?”

“Just what I said.  More blackouts, feeling sick or woozy or passing out after I’ve been working on the wards.  Nothing’s right, everything’s wrong, but I don’t know how to fix it.”

He nodded, expression grim.  “We’ll have to say something eventually.”

“J.T. knows,” I said quietly.  “Neve knows.  They’ll probably help, but even they don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Did you ask Thordin?”

My nose wrinkled.  “He’s got enough going on right now and I’m not sure how helpful he’d be anyway.”

“We won’t know until we say something.”

“I’d rather ask the ghost,” I said, meaning Eriu.  “Even Leinth.”

“I hadn’t thought of her,” Thom said softly.  He rested his chin on top of my head again and gathered me to his chest.  “We’ll figure it out.  We always do.”

We do.  Somehow…

“Thom?”

He was standing at the center of the open gateway and glanced over his shoulder at me as I came up behind him, his brows knitting slightly.  “What’s the matter?”

I shook my head slightly, pressing myself against his side and sliding my arms around his waist.  He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close.  My eyes stung.  No more secrets.  He has a right to know.  We have to prepare for whatever might be coming—is probably coming.  I pressed my lips tightly together.

“Cameron and I were talking,” he said quietly, resting his chin against my forehead.  “When the weather breaks, we’ll be the ones riding the first scouting runs for trading.  Thordin’s too unstable right now and I’ve got no desire to let Phelan go anywhere anytime soon.”

I choked on a laugh, nodding slightly as I pressed my face against his shoulder.  “Yeah, I can agree with that.  He’s getting better, but I think that’s mostly Jac’s influence on him.”

“They’re good together,” Thom said.  “A little strange, but good.”

“There’s nothing strange about it,” I said, then sighed.  He drew back slightly and peered at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s all taking more out of me than it should,” I said softly.  “Setting the wards, maintaining them, the visions…all of it’s taking so much more energy than it used to, then it should.”

“It’s the baby,” Thom said, his voice filling with doubt and concern.  “That’s all.  You need to show someone else how to work those wards.  You can’t keep shouldering that burden.”

“It’s not our son, Thom,” I said, looking up at him.  “At least, I don’t think it is.  It’s more than that.  I’ve…I’ve seen things.  This is the start of something.”

He grew pale, looking away.  His arm tightened around me.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he whispered.  “I promise.”

I wanted that to comfort me, but all the words did was leave me feeling hollow inside.

There wasn’t anything he could do.  Not now.  Not yet.

I buried my face against his shoulder and let him hold me.  There wasn’t anything else to do.

I love you, Thom.  Don’t forget that.

I didn’t think he ever could.

We sat together in companionable silence for a few long moments before the door swung open. Cameron startled slightly at the sight of me, blinking rapidly as he shrugged out of his jacket. “I didn’t expect to find you here, Marin. You’re usually out doing something with the wards or helping Tala about now, aren’t you?”

“Usually,” I said. “If I’m not babysitting Thordin and Sif or helping with the food stores. Decided today was made for something different.”

“Apparently,” Cameron said, his tone dry. His gaze flicked toward Neve. She shrugged.

“We were just talking,” she said. “Girl stuff.”

“Right.” His tone said he clearly didn’t believe us. “Girl stuff, or things that I don’t need to know because I’d get upset?”

I glanced toward Neve. “He sounds like Thom.”

“They’re a lot alike I think,” Neve said, one corner of her mouth quirking toward a smile. “Though maybe not about everything.” She pushed herself to her feet and hobbled over to Cameron, sliding her arms around his neck and kissing him gently. Cameron smiled and brushed her hair back from her face.

“I hope not,” he murmured, apparently forgetting I was there for a moment as he slid his hands up the back of Neve’s shirt. I cleared my throat softly and got up from the bed, earning a startled look from Cameron and a blush.

“Sorry,” he said. “You two were in the middle of something and I’m interrupting.”

“It’s no problem,” I told him, feeling almost wistful as I watched his arms tighten around Neve’s waist. I knew that Thom loved me, but sometimes the way Cameron looked at Neve…

Don’t worry about that. Thom loves you more and deeper in some ways. He’d die for you.

He’d run if it would save your life. He’s already tried. What does that tell you about him?

I suppressed the urge to snort. It told me that as brave as Thom was on the outside, there was a coward lurking beneath the surface, behind the façade of strength. I didn’t blame him for it. If I was in his shoes, maybe I’d be the same way.

“I’ll leave you two be,” I said as I slipped past them to the door. “Don’t forget to turn out the lamp.”

Neve laughed. “We won’t.”

I nodded and left them in peace, thinking about Thom.

Maybe I did need to talk to him about this after all.

“You look like you’re in a piss-poor mood,” Neve said as I slipped into the space she shared with Cameron. She set the book she’d been reading down and canted her head to one side, slowly drawing her good knee up to her chest. “What’s wrong?”

I dropped heavily onto the bed next to her and shook my head. “Everything.”

“That’s terribly descriptive.”

“Sorry.” I sighed and looked at her. “It’s all a mess—worse than I imagined.”

Neve arched a brow. “Going to elaborate on that?”

I leaned back, staring at the ceiling. “J.T. and Jac know there’s something going on with me when I work on the wards. There’s new monsters coming out of the west and I’ve seen hints of it. Things are happening too quickly, faster than I’d seen them happening in my visions. There’s—Neve, I don’t know what to do.”

She frowned a little, resting her chin on her knee. “I’m not sure that I’m the one you need to be confessing this to, Mar.”

“Of course you are,” I said. “You’re not going to panic in twelve directions over any of it. You’ll keep your head on straight and you’ll help me work through it.”                 “Phelan wouldn’t?”

“Fuck no, he’d ask me if I’ve said anything to Thom and I’d say no and he’d tell me that I need to and then get all quiet and serious and upset because things are happening too fast and they’ll screw something up that’s supposed to happen.” I closed my eyes, thumping my head lightly against the wall. “Phelan’s got enough shit bothering him right now. I don’t need to add to it.”

“So you’re adding to mine instead?”

I smiled wryly at Neve and shrugged with one shoulder. “I’ve got to tell someone, right?”

“I guess.” Her lips thinned for a moment. “What do you need me to do?”

“I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out.”

“When you do, you’ll let me know.”

“Exactly.” I closed my eyes again. “Exactly.”

“I don’t like it,” J.T. murmured as I caught up with him.  “It feels wrong.  The ghosts are restless, too.”

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”  I exhaled quietly, shaking my head as I fell into step with him.  “The monsters, the restless dead…it doesn’t surprise me.”

“I don’t like it,” he said again.

“None of us do.”  I shoved my hands into my pockets.  “We’re going to need Carolyn’s help with the watches.”

“Her little friends, you mean.  We’re going to need them.”

I grimaced and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Have you had any more episodes?”

I stumbled a step and he grasped my arm, held me upright until I caught my balance.  “Jay—”

“You can’t keep hiding what’s been going on,” he said.  “I’ve seen how pale you are sometimes when you come back from working on the wards.  I’ve noticed that you try to go out and do it when you’re sure Thom’s going to be busy or distracted or whatever.  I don’t know that anyone else has seen it, but I have.”  He glanced back over his shoulder, then leaned closer to me.  “You’ve got to talk to someone about what’s happening and I don’t care if it’s me or Jac or whoever, but you’ve got to do it and you’ve got to do it before it gets any worse.”

“I don’t know what it is, Jay.  How the hell can you two help me when I’ve got no idea what it is and there’s no real rhyme or reason to how it happens or when?”  I blew out a quiet breath as we breezed past the shattered garden and down the snow-covered pathway toward the bridge, setting a pace much faster than the one Thom and Phelan were trailing us at.  “I wish I knew.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he said with quiet conviction.

I snorted softly and shook my head.  We’d just have to see about that.