[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]
Matt’s gone.
If Thom hadn’t been there, if he hadn’t been the one to find out, to tell me, I’m not sure what I would have done, what might have happened. As it was, it was hard to breathe as we walked back toward the tents to break the news to everyone else.
In hindsight, I know that I was in some kind of state of shock in those first few moments, barely able to function or to even recognize where I was, what was happening. I was barely aware of anything beyond a single, solitary thought.
Matt’s gone. My brother’s gone.
Then, a second, traitorous thought crept in: What if you never get him back?
I held onto Thom a little tighter. He pressed a kiss to the side of my head, his nose buried in my hair.
“We’ll find him,” he murmured in my ear. “You know that, right?”
“What if we don’t?” I asked in a whisper. “Thom, what if we don’t?”
He promised me he’d be here. He promised.
Dammit.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered. “Thom, I can’t do this. I can’t face them. I just can’t.”
I can’t handle this. I can’t be strong anymore.
My brother’s gone and that bitch took him.
Thom paused, then glanced at Phelan and Cameron. “Can you guys handle it?” he asked quietly as he wrapped both arms around me and pulled me close again. I huddled in his arms, barely containing my shaking, my sobs.
The Hecate has my brother.
“Yeah,” Cameron said, answering for both of them. “Yeah, we’ll handle it. You should go lie down, Mar. You don’t look so good.”
I didn’t feel so good, but I suppose that went without saying.
“He’s right,” Thom said softly even as Cameron and Phelan moved off, heading for the fire. “Let’s get you into bed, huh?”
“Thom, what am I going to do?” I asked. “What am I going to do if we don’t get him back?”
“We’re going to get him back. Don’t doubt that for a second, Mar. Matt’s coming home. I promise you, he’s coming home—before our son is born. I promise.”
I pressed my face against his shoulder, choking on my sobs. He kissed my temple and just stood there, holding me as I swayed on my feet, light-headed and sick to my stomach.
My brother was gone and I had no idea how to find him.
All this time, carrying everything on her shoulders; it’s about time she let someone else take care of it.
Yeah, I give that about a day or two before she grabs her bow and goes hunting.