Five – 03

[This post is from Phelan’s point of view.]

J.T. sighed, still staring at the fire, the look on his face dubious, clearly not buying what Phelan was trying to sell.  “Even if that’s true—and I’m not saying that it is—I still feel like an utter failure.”

“That coffee smells incredible,” Marin’s voice said from nearby.  “And why are you feeling like a failure, Jay?”

Phelan glanced at Jacqueline who blew out a silent breath in relief.  He had to grin and she grinned back.  Her look said everything.  It was all he could do not to breathe a sigh of relief.

Cavalry’s here.

The cavalry was in the form of Marin and Hecate, who both appeared out of the tent’s gloom and into the circle of warm firelight.  J.T. took one look at Hecate and his face fell.

She frowned at him, brows knitting.  “What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t done anything,” he said quietly.  “She’s still out there.”

Hecate took a quiet breath and Marin reached to touch her arm.  Hecate glanced at her and managed a weak smile, shaking her head.  “I’m okay,” she told her sister-in-law before she turned to J.T.  “Jay, I know she is.  It’s okay.  We’ll help her.  You made a promise but I made one a long time ago.  If there’s one person who should be feeling guilty about not helping her yet, it’s me, not you.”

She went to sit beside him, drawing one knee up to her chest as she settled, setting her sketchbook and pencils next to her.  She leaned a shoulder into his, watching him carefully.  “Don’t let it eat you,” she whispered.  “I let so much eat me up inside over the years it left me hollow.  It’s not worth it.  She’d tell you that, too.  It’s okay.  We’ll keep the promise.  Sometimes it just takes time.”

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Five – 02

[This post is from Phelan’s point of view.]

                Jacqueline and Phelan exchanged a look before Phelan cleared his throat.  “You’re talking about Persephone,” he said quietly, watching J.T.’s reaction.  There was no flinch, no wince.  Instead, J.T. just nodded slowly, exhaling a breath he seemed like he’d been holding for perhaps too long.

                “Yeah,” he said, voice quiet.  “She asked for our help—for my help—and I haven’t been able to do anything.  I told Hecate about it, I haven’t done anything else.  What kind of good am I to her if I can’t figure out a damn thing to help her?”

                “Settle down,” Phelan told him, snagging some mugs before he slowly poured hot water over the grounds in the French press.  “It’s not as if we’ve had much breathing room to figure that out.”

                “It doesn’t matter,” J.T. said, staring hard at the fire, as if it would somehow give up state secrets if he glared at it long and hard enough.  “I made a promise and I haven’t kept it.”

                “And it’s eating you,” Jacqueline said quietly, watching him.  Phelan winced, glancing at her again before concentrating on the coffee.  “And you’re letting it.”

                J.T. exhaled a frustrated sigh.  “And if I am?”

                “Then you shouldn’t,” she said, her tone brooking no argument.  “We can only do what we can and trust me, we’ve all been wrapped up in a lot of crap lately and we keep getting attacked.”

                “And we got attacked by someone that’s probably involved in holding her—and we turned them back,” Phelan said, his voice quiet as he started to pour the coffee.  “That has to amount to something.”

                “Maybe,” J.T. said, still staring at the fire.  Phelan started handing out the coffee, studying J.T. as he handed him a mug.

                “Not maybe,” Phelan said quietly.  “It counts.  Don’t try to shoulder all of this alone.  We’re going to help you—helping her isn’t something you have to do alone.”

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Five – 01

[This post is from Phelan’s point of view.]

“You have grass on your shirt.”

Phelan straightened from tending the pot over the fire, brow furrowing as he watched J.T. approach.  The other man looked like he hadn’t slept at all the night before, which was cause for concern enough, but it was less the dark circles under his eyes than the expression on his face that gave Phelan pause.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, not wanting to speculate—odds were good his mind would come up with something far worse than whatever had kept J.T. up.

“Is that coffee?”  J.T. asked, ignoring the question.  That won an arched brow from Jacqueline, who sat cross-legged nearby, settled in to resume work on a quilting project even as Phelan busied himself with the coffee.

“It will be soon,” Phelan said, still watching him as he unceremoniously dropped into a sitting position near Jacqueline.

“Fantastic,” J.T. said, leaning back against one of the split-log benches and covering his eyes with one hand.  “I need it.”

“You realize it’s nearly ten o’clock,” Jacqueline said, peering at him.  “At least as near as I can tell.  What’s going on?  Did you oversleep?”

“Oversleeping would imply that I slept.”

“Well, that answers part of my question,” Phelan said, tone wry.  He started filling the French press with coffee grounds.  “So answer the rest.  What’s going on, Jay?”

“I just—I can’t—” he broke off, making a frustrated sound.  “I just keep thinking and it goes around and around and I try to stop but it doesn’t stop.”

“Now you’re not making sense,” Jacqueline said, brow furrowing deeper.  “What keeps going around and around?”

He shook his head.  “It doesn’t—”

“Don’t lie,” she warned.  Phelan turned away, concealing a wince.  He’d come to know that tone over the last year and it typically didn’t presage much good if it wasn’t obeyed.

“She asked us to help her and we haven’t,” J.T. said.  “And it keeps eating away at me.  I don’t want it to but I can’t help it.  It just keeps bubbling up.”  He sighed.  “I think time is running out but I don’t know what to do about it.  I’m not even sure where to start.  How the hell do we figure out where to start?”

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Four – 05

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

I slid my arm around her shoulders, squeezing her tightly. Hecate sighed and shook her head.

“I just owe it to her, you know? She helped me. We helped each other. Neither of us belonged there but we found a way to make it a home for as long as we had to.” Hecate blew out a breath slowly, then drew a deeper one, bowing her head for a few seconds. “Her longer than me in a lot of ways.”

“I’m sorry he never came for you,” I whispered. She stiffened slightly, looking up and biting her lip.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was Brighíd’s,” I said softly. “He never told her.”

“I knew he couldn’t,” she said, then smiled a little. “We both knew what his going back meant and it was worth it. I came a few times to see him after and it was hard but it was worth being there, even if it was only for a few minutes or only from a distance. I loved him—I loved Cíar. But I love your brother more, Marin. I love him so much more.”

I smiled back and hugged her tightly.

“I’m glad he chose me,” she said, resting her head against my shoulder again. “I’m glad he broke through.”

“So am I,” I said. “You cold?”

“A little. Why, are you thinking about going back to the fire?”

“Just away from the rain,” I said. “I’ve been helping with the books again.”

“I heard Jac caught Phelan reading mythology the other day.”

I arched a brow. “He is mythology.”

“So am I. So—well. Not you precisely.”

“No. Not yet, anyway.”

Hecate laughed, flipping her sketchbook closed. “No,” she agreed. “Not yet. Something tells me soon enough, though. Soon enough, that’s going to happen.” She started gathering up her pencils and supplies as I slowly stood up, checking on Lin as I slid off the dresser we’d been perched on. He was fast asleep, nestled against my chest and wrapped in his blanket, tiny fingers tangled in my shirt. I exhaled a sigh, unable to stop myself from smiling.

She glanced over and smiled, too.

“Someday,” she said softly. “Maybe.”

I canted my head to one side and she shook her head.

“I’ve been thinking. Not a lot about it because it scares the shit out of me and I’m afraid that I—that I won’t be able to handle it. But I’ve been thinking about it.”

“A family?”

She nodded, biting her lip. “Do you think…?”

As she tucked her sketchbook and pencils under her arm, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders again, smiling. “I think anything’s possible. Especially when there’s love. When you’ve got love, anything can happen.”

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Four – 04

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

“How long do you think they’ll stay away this time?” Hecate asked. “Olympium. Their nose is bloodied, but I think we’d be foolish to believe they won’t come again.”

“That question could be answered by either one of us,” I muttered, then sighed. There was a tightness in my chest, like a giant hand had wrapped around my heart and squeezed. Part of it, of course, were the lingering thoughts of losing Thom, the fear that I’d lived with every day since he’d been thrown into that watchtower rail. “The short version of the answer, I think, would be the same.”

“Not long,” Hecate said, glancing up again, studying me. “Matter of time.” She sighed and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. We can win.”

“We will win,” I said quietly, still staring out at the rain. “Though I start to wonder if maybe it’s time we took the fight to them.”

Hecate stiffened slightly, then visibly forced herself to relax, exhaling slowly. “It might not be hard.”

“Maybe not,” I said, then looked at her, brow furrowing. “Besides—they still have Persephone, right?”

She shivered. “So far as I know. I can’t be sure but I don’t know where else she’d be other than in their hands.” Her gaze drifted back to her sketch. “Otherwise, I think she would have found us somehow. She reached out to J.T. If she figured out I was still alive, she’d come looking. She—for a long time, she was my only friend.”

“All the more reason for us to get her out of whatever situation she’s stuck in—especially if it’s an abusive one.”

“With Pluton gone, it definitely is,” she whispered. “He wasn’t the greatest, but he wasn’t the worst, either. Someone else has probably claimed her now and it won’t be good.” She exhaled a shaky breath. “The myths are silent on a lot.”

“How could they not be?” I asked softly. “I can’t imagine that anyone would want much of the truth to come out, if it’s as dark as it all seems.”

“You’re right about that,” she said. “You have no idea how right, honestly. But he never hurt her, not more than a couple usually does. He just kept her, that’s all. She wasn’t free.”

“That’s—”

“I know,” Hecate whispered. “I know.”

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Four – 03

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

Hecate put pencil to paper a few moments later. I watched for the span of a few heartbeats, then my gaze drifted back toward the sky. Lin shifted in my arms, then quieted, settling down, eyelids drooping more. It wouldn’t be long before he was asleep.

“How’s Thom doing?” Hecate asked softly, glancing up for a second. “He didn’t seem that great the other day but he definitely knew what he was talking about.”

I sighed, tilting my head back. “That’s a complicated question.”

“Is it?” She looked up, smiling slightly. “That sounds familiar.”

A laugh escaped me and she grinned, nudging me gently. “Right,” I said. “Right. Sorry.”

“It’s all right. What’s going on?”

I shook my head, rolling my neck before my gaze returned to the clouds. “He’s just pushing himself too hard, I think. I know why. He doesn’t think I do, but I always know, just like he always knows even though I don’t tell him.”

She stopped in mid-sketch, pencil momentarily frozen. “That…that wasn’t convoluted at all.”

I snorted, turning the words over in my mind. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. He doesn’t like feeling useless or helpless. None of us do, but especially him. He fights it harder than anyone I’ve ever met. It almost broke us—it did break us for a while. He was ready to walk away because he thought it was the only way to save me. It broke my heart and his.”

Hecate was quiet. Her pencil scraped softly against the pad for a few strokes before she asked, “What happened?”

“The world ended,” I whispered. “And we both realized that not everything is set in stone, but some things are and those things are worth anything and everything.” I swallowed hard against the emotion that welled up, tried to fight the tears that threatened, the ones that already stung in my eyes, ready to well up. “I thought I’d lost him when it all came down. It was the lowest I’d ever been, then someone told me he hadn’t gone, that he’d stayed and he had to be somewhere here and my heart soared and then crashed again because we didn’t know where he was, we hadn’t found him.”

“But you did,” she said. “You did find him.”

I nodded, swallowing hard. “I did. We did. He wasn’t good, but he was still here and we had another chance. I will never stop being grateful for that.”

“You love him.”

I nodded. “More than anything. Almost anything.”

She glanced at Lin. I nodded slightly.

“Sometimes, it’s kind,” she whispered to me.

“Sometimes,” I agreed, knowing what she meant. “But it’s usually a mixed bag.”

Hecate nodded in agreement, glancing down to her sketch again. She squeezed my knee before she resumed drawing.

I leaned my shoulder into hers and watched the rain.

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Four – 02

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

We sat and watched the rain in silence for a few minutes. My gaze drifted upward, toward the clouds. They were moving fast, though not alarmingly so, no strange rotations, no twisting or folding that usually heralded something more than the usual late summer rain. I felt a bit of tension draining away as we sat there. Hecate kept leaning against me, though after a quick squeeze freed her arm from around my waist and took her pencil from behind her ear. She flipped to a clean page in her sketchbook but didn’t start drawing right away.

A quiet sigh escaped her and she stared out at the rain. “There’s so much going on inside my head,” she whispered. “That’s sometimes the hardest part—trying to put some kind of order to the chaos that never quite stops. Quelling the clamor.”

I squeezed her gently and she turned her head just enough to smile at me.

“The art helps,” she said softly. “It’s weird how much it helps. When Matt was with me—when I—” she broke off, frowning as she looked down again. I bit my lip.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Hecate, it’s okay. When Matt was with you before you came here?”

She took a breath and nodded, picking up on the prompt. “I had a house up on a cliff that overlooked the water. Matt found some of my sketchbooks there. I told him that I used the art to help me stay myself. It’s the truth. I—I need it so much.”

“Then keep doing it,” I whispered. “Keep doing it and we’ll find other things that help. Whatever we have to do, we’ll do it. You’re family.”

The breath she took was shaky, but her nod was firm. “And that means everything. Absolutely everything.”

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Four – 01

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

The sound of a lilting tune drifted from one end of the tents, half lost under the sound of the rain pounding against the canvas. Lin was half asleep in my arms, lulled toward his morning nap by a clean diaper and a full belly. I followed the sound, canting my head to one side even as my brow furrowed.

It’s familiar, but I can’t quite place it.

I came around a set of shelves and saw her sitting cross-legged on a spare dresser, a sketchbook open in her lap and a tin of colored pencils open alongside her. Hecate was humming softly to herself, bundled in a hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans, her hair pulled into a thick braid down her back. Even with her back turned, I could tell she was smiling and that made me smile, too.

The humming stopped as I took another few steps and she turned around, looking over her shoulder at me. One corner of her mouth lifted up in a wider smile.

“Morning.”

“Morning,” she echoed. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, moving to join her in her perch. She scooted over a little to make room, watching me with an arched brow.

“You sure?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I just thought you were still in bed, that’s all. You weren’t at breakfast.”

“Well, I’ll admit that I thought about staying in bed,” she said as I settled next to her. “The rain would’ve made that easy. The drum and the gloom and damp and all that—it was tempting. Then I decided I’d been hiding in bed for long enough and I should get up.”

“You weren’t hiding,” I said, brow furrowing slightly. “You were recovering from the last attack. You still are.”

“Oh, Mar,” she sighed, tucking her pencil above her ear and reaching to brush a fingertip down Lin’s face as his attention turned to her, blue eyes half-lidded as he half-heartedly fought sleep. “I’ve been physically fine for at least three days. Trust me, I’ve been hiding. It’s easier sometimes.”

I shifted Lin slightly to free an arm to wrap around her shoulders. “Well, you do whatever you need to do,” I told her. “No one’s going to get upset at you for that.”

Hecate took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, nodding slightly. “It’s just hard, that’s all. I’m still getting used to not being alone and learning to trust people again. My first instinct sometimes is to just hide because hiding keeps me from getting hurt—at least most of the time.”

I squeezed her gently and she smiled.

“You don’t have to say it,” she said. “I know what you’re about to tell me.”

“You mean the part where I say that we’re here?”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling. “That.” She smoothed a hand over the page in her sketchbook, leaning her head against my shoulder. “I told Matt that sometimes I’ll need reminding.”

“I’m sure he’s more than willing to do that,” I murmured, resting my head against hers as I peered down at the drawing on the page. “That’s a good picture of him.”

Hecate held it up so we could both see it better, her brow furrowing slightly. “I don’t know. It’s missing something.”

“Color?” I suggested.

She laughed and shook her head a little. “No, not that. I’m not sure what it is, but I’ll figure it out. Eventually.”

“Has that been what you’ve been out here doing?”

“Mostly,” she said. “It’s another thing the rain somehow makes easier.”

I squeezed her gently, staring out at the rain. She sighed and set the sketchbook down in her lap again, gaze drifting out to the sodden ground and the trees.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked in a whisper.

Her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. “Probably. It feels like it’s been a long time since I was sure of something like that. But probably.” Hecate slid an arm around my waist and smiled faintly, though the expression was fleeting. “And if I’m not, you guys are here. That’s all that matters now.”

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Three – 05

[This post is from Thom’s point of view.]

Staring down at a blank page of his sketchpad, Thom cleared his throat. “So. Persephone?”

“Right,” Matt said, tone slightly rueful. He shifted the metal again in the coals, then let go, stretching slightly and seeming to marshal his thoughts before he started to explain. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a complicated thing but it’s something that kind of got shunted aside with that last attack and all. Hecate thought she was dead and probably wouldn’t know anything otherwise if she hadn’t found a way to ask J.T. for help.”

Thom glanced up from the page, brow furrowing. “Hecate asked Jay for help?”

“No,” Matt said quietly as he shifted the iron in the coals one more time. “Persephone found a way to reach out to J.T. That’s how we know she’s alive—J.T. came to Hecate to ask for help. She’s out there somewhere, probably—almost definitely—a prisoner of Olympium.”

“Shit,” Thom breathed. “You’re sure?”

“As much as we can be,” Matt said. He pulled the iron back out of the fire, settling it against the anvil and taking up his hammer again. “Like I said, with the mess that last attack left us with, we haven’t had much of a chance to do anything about it—not yet, anyway.”

“You sound like you’re planning something,” Thom said, attention drifting back toward his sketchbook. He finally put pencil to paper, starting to sketch without quite knowing what he was designing. He glanced up, pencil still moving, watching as Matt started to hammer a blade into shape.

“Nothing solid,” Matt said. “Nothing certain. She still hasn’t recovered from dealing with the dark nymphs in the last battle.”

Thom winced. “I—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have sent her to the wall without warning her why I was doing it.”

“It turned out all right.” Matt sighed. “And you weren’t wrong to send her. She told me how it happened and even she thinks you were right. Once she was on her way to us she understood and you were right, trying to explain it would have taken too long and she might have hesitated. It would’ve been a hesitation we couldn’t afford.”

“But she’s all right?”

“She will be,” Matt said, then smiled. “You’re worried.”

“Of course,” Thom said, glancing down. “She’s your wife, and that makes her my sister. She’s family.”

Matt grinned. “She said the same thing about you.”

Thom snorted softly. “Good to know I’m someone’s sister.”

Matt laughed. “That’s not—”

“I know,” Thom said, staring blankly at the sketchpad in his lap.

A cradle? But I—

He stared at the page for another few seconds, then looked up at Matt.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Thom said. “Just thinking.”

He turned the page.

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Three – 04

[This post is from Thom’s point of view.]

Thom watched him for a few seconds before exhaling and flipping his sketchbook open again. “How—how much do you remember about then?”

“How much do you remember?” Matt countered, shifting the metal in the forge so it would heat more evenly.

Thom choked back a laugh. “Is that how we’re going to play it?”

“Seems like.” Matt shot him a crooked smile. “I think we both remember more of it than we let on—especially to Mar.”

“Well, she’s kind of weirded out by it a little bit herself sometimes,” Thom murmured. “So the two of us keeping some of it on the down-low doesn’t surprise me at all.”

“Me neither,” Matt agreed. “Not really. In actual answer to your question, though, maybe not as much as sometimes I’d hope but enough to be sure of some things.”

“Did you—” Thom stopped, frowning for a second, then took a breath and started again. “Did you remember before?”

“Before? Before what?”

Thom grimaced. “Before she took you?”

Matt was silent for a few moments, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I did, I just didn’t know what it meant, who it was that I kept being with and talking to. I mean, it wasn’t like I could see her, you know? It was never any time that I could really see her. It was always after.”

“After Cíar escaped.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I knew there was someone and I knew she was important, I just didn’t know what she looked like. I just knew what she felt like and I knew how deeply he loved her, how deep that connection went.” Matt sighed, staring into the forge for a few seconds. “I wondered at first if that’s why I cared about her, but I realized pretty fast that it wasn’t.”

“Was she—?”

“Different? Yeah. There was a side of her that she couldn’t let anyone else see, part that she had to keep protected or she’d be done for. Everything she went through kind of fractured her but she’s getting better now. I think it’s healing, even if it’s slow.” He smiled faintly. “And I’m glad that she feels safe enough here to let us help. She’s making friends and learning that there’s more than two other people in the world that care about her and that’s worked wonders.”

“Two?” Thom echoed, brow furrowing. “I mean, I know you’re one, but who was the other one before all of us?”

“Persephone,” Matt said quietly. “We have to figure out how to help her, too.”

“What?”

Matt shook his head, a rueful smile curving his lips. “That’s right. I should probably tell you about that.”

Thom rubbed at his temple, shaking his head. “I feel like I slept through a lot.”

“Not a lot,” Matt said. “Just some important stuff.” He glanced back toward the rain outside and sighed. “Well, we’re not going anywhere anytime soon. Guess we’ve got time, right?”

“Even if we didn’t, we’d make it.”

“True enough,” Matt agreed softly. “True enough.”

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