Winter – Chapter 32 – 02

“Come to bed,” I said after a few long moments of silence.  “Just for a few hours.  I won’t make you stay past midnight, since you’re so sure they’re still going to hit us.”

He winced.  “Mar—”

“Am I really asking for that much, Thom?  Really?”

He winced again but stayed silent, resting his chin against my temple.  I swallowed a sigh.

I’m asking too much.  He won’t do it.  I suppose I can’t blame him, either.  He’s got the well-being of everyone on his mind.  I’ve just got my comfort and his on mine.  “All right,” I murmured.  “I guess I’m going to go get some sleep while I still can.”

Thom nodded slightly.  “You should.  We’ll need you when it starts.”

As a fighter or a symbol?  I swallowed the question and nodded.  “I’ll be there with that bow.”

The morning after the fight with the Dirae and the Hecate, I’d found a bow lain across the threshold of our cot’s doorway.  I wasn’t sure if Thordin or Phelan had put it there, but it had been a welcome gift all the same, acknowledging my apparently growing skill with the weapon.  Every time it filled my hands, I felt a sense of rightness, as if that was where it belonged—as if this, not a sword or a staff, was the weapon I was meant to wield.

I was almost afraid to consider what I might be like with a spear in my hands—a weapon that Phelan kept quietly threatening to give me, if only to see what I’d do with one.

I started to pull away from Thom but his arm tightened as I did.  He held me fast for a  long moment, wrapping both arms around me and hanging on.

“I love you,” he murmured into my hair.  “Never forget and never doubt that.”

“I never will and never could,” I said, tilting my face up to his.  I caught his face between my hands and kissed him hard enough that he sucked in a sharp breath in surprise, eyes popping wide.

“Hell,” he said after I pulled away.  “Is there something that you’re not telling me, Mar?”

I smiled wryly.  “Just showing you what you’ll be missing, that’s all.”

“I already knew,” he said, his expression abruptly sad.  My brows knit.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

One corner of his mouth twitched toward a rueful smile.  “For better or worse, I don’t think I’ve seen anything about this encounter.  That’s terrifying and comforting all at once.”

I shivered slightly and hugged him close for another brief moment before I stepped away.  “Well, let’s hope it’s a good omen, not a bad one.”

“Here’s to hoping.”  His fingers brushed my face as I stepped back.  “Sweet dreams, Mar.”

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I said, giving him one last smile before I turned and walked away, wishing he’d agreed to come to bed.  That had been all that I’d actually wanted—him to come to bed so I could curl up against his chest.  I slept better that way.  I couldn’t blame him for staying up, though.  He had his reasons and they weren’t bad ones.

That didn’t stop me from wanting him with me as I trudged back to our shared quarters and changed into something that wasn’t quite pajamas but wasn’t quite clothing, either.  I wanted to sleep, after all, and I wasn’t about to sleep in blue jeans when an attack wasn’t guaranteed to happen that night.

I fell into bed and buried my face in Thom’s pillow, inhaling deeply.  I’d only left him a few minutes before, but my heart ached deeply for him.

I wish he’d come to bed, I thought, biting my lip.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I took another deep breath.  I was asleep in minutes, curled in a ball under our shared blankets, all alone.

And I dreamed.

I remembered.

Liked it? Take a second to support Erin on Patreon!