The fire in his side began to spread a few minutes later and he grit his teeth against the pain, his jaw throbbing at counterpoint to his side. It felt like she’d put her finger through the stitches, not just against them.
“Relax,” she said, her voice more soothing than it was sharp. Phelan cracked an eye open to make eye contact with her.
“Relax,” he echoed. “When you’re shoving your finger into my side like the stitches aren’t even there?”
She snorted a laugh. “Settle. The edges are actually starting to firm and nothing’s popped. J.T. was worried that it’d end up infected like the last time something stabbed you.”
“I didn’t end up with an infection that time,” Phelan said, letting his eyes slide shut again.
“Jay was still worried. Truth be told, so was I.” She got up from the bed and walked over to his narrow dresser, rummaging around in the basket she’d left there when she’d come to his bedside.
“Everyone worries,” he said softly. “That’s the problem.” He opened his eyes and watched her as she dug out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton swabs. “I’m thinking about leaving, Jac.”
He wasn’t sure why he said it. He hadn’t intended to, and watching the horror dawn on her face made him realize that giving voice to those words was a mistake.
“You can’t,” she said. “You can’t go anywhere. We need you.”
They were words he expected from Marin, not from Jacqueline. His throat grew tight and his heart felt like a ball of lead in his chest. The anger that had given fire to her eyes was gone, replaced by fear and alarm.
“How could you even think it?” she asked.
What do I say? That my being here puts everyone I love at risk? That if I stay I could get them all killed?
That I have to go because I love them, not in spite of loving all of them?
He looked away, stared at the wall.
Jacqueline sighed. “Phelan.”
“I don’t have an answer you’ll want to hear,” he murmured. “Just do what you came here to do and leave me be.”
Silence stretched between them for a few long moments.
“Fine,” she said.
He yelped as she poured the rubbing alcohol right into the wound in his side.
