Thirty – 01

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

“Anything?”

Thom shook his head as he swung down from the saddle. “Not a damned thing. It’s like they vanished into thin air.”

“She always was good at hiding,” Phelan muttered, crossing his arms. My lips thinned.

“Two weeks and we’re no closer to finding him now than we were when he disappeared.” Every day that went by without any sign of my brother, I felt even sicker to my stomach. Where had she taken him? Why had she taken him?

I didn’t have any answers and damnation, I needed some.

Thom stared at me for a long moment before he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight against his chest. I sucked in a ragged breath and pressed my forehead against his shoulder. I couldn’t even cry anymore—I didn’t have the tears left.

Where is he?

My fingers tangled in the flannel of Thom’s shirt and he rested his cheek against my hair.

“We’ll find him,” he said.

He’s said that every day for two weeks, ever since we’d discovered Matt was gone.

There had been nothing—no word, no sign. It really was like they’d vanished into thin air or stepped across the boundaries between this world and another.

I was starting to realize that the answers I needed weren’t going to come.

I sucked in a ragged breath and straightened, pushing away from my husband. I looked at him and Phelan, the words I was about to say sticking in my throat, threatening to choke me even though I knew they needed to be said.

“Maybe it’s time to stop looking.”

They looked at me like I’d finally gone over the edge.

If I’d been them, maybe I’d have done the same, all things considered.

My husband was the first to recover his voice. And his brow furrowed as he stared at me hard. “What did you see?”

“Nothing,” I said quietly, and it was the truth. Tying up as many resources as we were trying to find Matt was dangerous, though—especially considering that there was still another threat somewhere nearby, one that had nearly killed Cariocecus and manipulated Phelan’s mental and emotional state when he’d stepped beyond the strongest of our wards with me.

Even though Matt was my brother and I loved him more than anyone save Thom and our baby, I couldn’t justify what we were doing. It didn’t feel right, feel fair.

He’ll make it back somehow. I know he will.

I closed my eyes and exhaled. “But we have so many other things that we should be worrying about right now. I love Matt—he’s my brother—but this isn’t fair to everyone else. There’s too much to do.”

“We should have killed her a long time ago,” Aoife’s voice said from behind me. I winced, glancing back toward her. I hadn’t heard her approach.

You need to pay more attention.

Phelan sighed. “I’m not having this argument again.”

“It’s not an argument, it’s a statement of fact,” Aoife said, then looked at me. “J.T. wants to talk to you.”

I frowned, but nodded, wondering why he hadn’t come himself. “All right. Where is he?”

She jerked her chin toward the ravine and the bridge. Strange how that spot over the ravine had become the place where we’d go to talk when we didn’t want someone to inconveniently interrupt.

At some point, we’ll need to ward that, too.

“I’ll come with you,” Thom said. Aoife shook her head.

“J.T. wanted to talk to her alone.”

I squeezed Thom’s hand. “It’s okay. Go get cleaned up. I’ll fill you in later.”

Thom hesitated. I looked at him and he smiled weakly.

“Okay.” He kissed my temple. “And I’ll talk to the others about…about what you said. This should be up to all of us, though. It’s not just about you and me.”

I nodded. He was right, at least in part. Matt had a larger role in this community beyond being my little brother.

It was just that his being my brother was the most important role to me.

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