[This post is from Hecate’s point of view.]
“I’m sorry,” Hecate managed in a rasping whisper. “This is all my fault. He’s coming here because I didn’t give him the answer he wanted when he wanted it. My past is catching up with me and I’m not the only one that’s going to face the consequences, but it should be me and only me. No one else should suffer because of me. I’ve brought too much suffering on people as it is.”
Marin’s infant son squirmed, letting out a quiet sound. Marin drew back slightly, shifting how he was laying in the sling against her chest. She kept one hand on Hecate’s arm, her touch warm and strangely comforting.
Hecate reached up to mop at her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve, her throat painfully tight. “I should leave.”
“Matt’s not about to let you go and truth be told, neither am I,” Marin said, her voice firm but gentle. “I’m not exactly keen on ever sending anyone away when they need help.”
“But I’ve put all of you in danger,” Hecate whispered. She stared at the baby for a long moment. “I’m putting your son in danger.”
Marin slowly lifted her son out of his carrying sling, cradling him in one arm for a moment. She stared down at the baby boy, his huge blue eyes seeming to drink in everything in the room. Hecate swallowed, uncomfortable as the newborn’s gaze fell on her, oddly steady.
“The world put him in danger,” Marin said after a long silence. “Being born after the end of everything has put him in danger. That’s not your doing, Hecate. You can’t blame yourself for it—or at least, you shouldn’t blame yourself for it.”
“I can’t help it,” Hecate said, tearing her gaze away from the baby. “I wish I could. I just—there’s a guilt that’s inside me that just keeps growing, a voice inside my head that’s just screaming that this—like everything else—is all my fault and look at what I’ve done and I’m awful and worthless except for causing trouble and I—”
“Hecate.”
She clammed up, pressing her fist against her mouth and squeezing her eyes shut. Voices clamored in her head, repeating everything she’d just said and more. Marin squeezed her arm.
“I know it’s hard,” she said softly. “But you don’t have to listen to them. I know it’s hard and they’re there and they won’t shut up—not yet—but we’re here and I’m here and I’m telling you that this isn’t your fault and you don’t have to go anywhere and we’re in this together and that’s not your fault.” Her voice softened further and she shifted from sitting in front of Hecate to sitting next to her on the bed, then slid her arm around the other woman’s shoulders.
“My brother loves you,” Marin said gently. “Nothing else matters. We take care of our own, Hecate. And you’re part of us now. We’ll take care of you, too. I promise.
“I promise.”
