Nine – 02

[This post is from Phelan’s point of view.]

“Does that mean that you’re going to tell me whatever the hell is eating at you?”

Phelan choked on a laugh, a weak one, but a laugh nonetheless. “When it rains, it pours,” he said, as if that would explain everything. Jacqueline’s exasperated sigh told him that it absolutely hadn’t and Phelan scrubbed a hand over his face.

“I don’t know if I can do it again,” he said simply. Jacqueline frowned, her brows knitting.

“Don’t know if you can do what?”

“I don’t know how much use I’ll be in the next fight, or the one after that, or the one after that,” he said, his stomach hollowing out. Thinking it had been one thing, but putting voice to it was so much worse. “I just—I can’t—”

“I don’t understand,” she said softly. “Phelan, what are you talking about?”

He sighed, closing his eyes. She wrapped both arms around him and squeezed tightly.

“Talk to me,” she whispered. “Please, Phelan.”

“I’m sorry. It’s hard, okay? Articulating it is—” he broke off, frowning and staring out over the ravine. “What Matt and I were able to do at the battle against Olympium. I don’t think I can pull off something like that again, or what I did on the ice that woke Leviathan—not that I’d ever want to do that again.”

“I hope you’re never in a position where you feel like you have to, not again.” Her lips brushed his temple and he shivered. “You’re not the only one who can fight whatever bad guys show up here, Phelan.”

“No,” he murmured. “I’m just the one with the most experience.”

“Something tells me your cousin would dispute that.”

He shivered again. “My cousin was a boogeyman that people used to use to scare their children.”

“Well, at least he’s on our side now.”

Phelan choked on another weak laugh and squeezed her close. “I love you, Jac.”

“I love you, too.” She squeezed him again, then drew back slightly. “Now stop beating yourself up about things you probably can’t help. Whatever happens, happens. We’ll be okay. Somehow, we’ll be okay.”

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