[This post is from J.T.’s point of view.]
“Carolyn.” His ire dropped right along with his stomach. What was she doing in his room? It had been—
What does this mean?
She’d lit the lamp and was sitting next to it, a book open in her lap. The flickering flame danced along her features, casting half her face in shadow and illuminating the other, her brow slightly furrowed in concern but her eyes bright, not tired at all.
She closed the book and stood up. “I—”
He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again as she broke off, staring at him uncertainly. He swallowed hard.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “It’s been a long day.”
“I know,” she said. “And I knew eventually you’d make it back here. That’s why I came.”
“It’s late,” he said.
“Actually, it’s early.” She smiled weakly, gesturing slightly. “Close the door, huh?”
J.T. had been in such a state of shock that he hadn’t realized that the door was still open, that he was still standing in his doorway. He took a step forward, then another, closing and locking the door behind him, hoping against hope that Ériu would have sense enough to stop following him. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I know,” she said, glancing toward her feet. “I’m sorry, Jay. It’s just been weird lately and I’ve been taking it out on you. That’s not been fair.”
“No, it’s fine.” He slunk across the room, skirting the space where she stood so he could drop his kit next to the bed. “You needed space. It’s a big commitment and I kind of sprang the question on you without our really discussing it first. It’s okay.”
“I was scared.”
He froze, barely daring to breathe. His throat thickened, choking off any words that came to mind. J.T. just stood there with his back to her, silent, waiting, hoping she’d say more.
She said “was.” Not is. What the hell does that mean? Is it the commitment? Something else?
“It hasn’t been because I don’t love you, Jay, because god knows I do. I’m scared because I love you—I’m scared because of what I see happening to you, of this power that you’ve got that keeps getting stronger and sinking its claws deeper. I’ve been afraid I’ll lose you.”
Her hand touched his back and he stiffened. Carolyn didn’t withdraw, only stepped closer. J.T. sucked in a quiet breath, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Promise me I won’t lose you,” she whispered. “Please, Jay.”
The words came out strangled. “I promise. I’ll never leave you. I swear. I swear. They’d have to banish me and I would still find a way to come back.”
Her arms slid around his waist and she leaned against his back. He could breathe again and he squeezed his eyes shut against the sting of tears.
“Does this mean—”
“Yes,” she whispered into his shirt. “Yes, it does.”
