Twenty-three – 05

[This post is from Phelan’s point of view.]

It only took a few minutes for him to retrieve his staff. Camp was still quiet, all things considered, and he glimpsed Marin still seated by the fire, Thordin with her. There wasn’t a sign of anyone else. A quiet sigh escaped Phelan’s lips and he shook his head.

Work to do.

His fingers tightened slightly around his staff and he headed back out to the edge of the ravine and the wards. Kellin stood there, waiting, humming softly to herself and staring out at the trees and the sunshine. She glanced back at the sound of Phelan’s footsteps, her brows knitting.

“You’ve got a look. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Just everything going on inside my head.”

“Mm. One of those.” Her gaze scythed over the edge of the ravine before she hopped off the rail again, starting to walk. He fell in with her, silently in step. They’d nearly reached the edge of the wards and the holly and lavender hedges that had been planted months before when Kellin finally spoke again. “I had the same problem after that attack last year, you know? There was a part of me that wondered why they pulled me back from the edge—and why I’d let them pull me back from the edge.”

“You didn’t want to live?” Phelan asked, glancing at her with a slight frown.

Kellin shrugged. “At the time, I wasn’t sure. There are still moments I’m not. I’m still trying to figure out why I was one of the ones who survived while faking the shit out of having answers. I’m pretty sure Marin feels the same way sometimes.”

“She does,” Phelan confirmed, his voice quiet. Together, they walked toward a corner of the ward-line, steps silent in the dew-damp grass. “We all do, truth be known.”

A slight, bitter chuckle escaped her. “Well, that’s something, at least. There are monsters in all of our heads, I guess.”

“Truer words are rarely spoken,” Phelan murmured, then squeezed her shoulder.

“I thought not.” Kellin smiled and patted his hand. “Are you going to tell me about the thoughts plaguing you, or are you going to deflect me?”

Phelan laughed. “That depends.”

“On what?”

“What you say next.”

Kellin laughed.

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