Twenty-three – 03

[This post is from Phelan’s point of view.]

There was a strange sort of silence blanketing the world as dawn broke. Phelan watched the sun come up through the ravine’s trees, its rays painting green leaves orange and gold, shafts of light falling here and there in the grass near his feet. He sat on a railing near the edge of the ravine, one that once upon a time would have stopped cyclists and skateboarders from tumbling off the sidewalk into a nasty fall. The metal had warmed beneath his fingers where he gripped the rail, where his bare feet rested against a lower rung. He was tired, but sleep hadn’t come. There was too much rolling around in his skull and Jacqueline hadn’t come to bed besides. Sleeping alone had become strange, especially when he was largely healthy.

The sound of footsteps made him glance back and he offered his cousin a slight smile. “Couldn’t sleep, either?”

Seamus made a quiet, slightly frustrated sound in his throat. “Something feels wrong. Off.”

“That statement has described the world for almost a year now,” Phelan said.

“Shut up, Phelan. You know what I meant.”

Phelan grunted. “What now?”

“I’ll be damned if I can put my finger on it.”

He shot Seamus a level look, his brow furrowing as his cousin leaned against the rail next to him. “That’s incredibly helpful, thank you Seamus.”

“Would you stop?”

“No, I don’t think I will.” Phelan looked away, toward the ravine and the trees. “I don’t have a good reason to. I know something’s not right—off more than usual. If that wasn’t the case, Thom would be up and grumping at everyone right now, regardless of how badly he’s been hurt. But he hasn’t woken up since he passed out in the watchtower.” That bothered him more than he wanted to let on. So far as he could tell, there wasn’t a reason for either Thom’s unconsciousness, the sudden fever, or the inflammation around the wounds the camazotzi had left in his friend.

That alone would have been enough to lose sleep over, and he suspected that Marin hadn’t gotten a wink either as a result.

“At least the twins are healthy,” Seamus said quietly. “And Neve’s resting.”

“A bright spot amidst everything else,” Phelan agreed, then started at his cousin again for the span of a few heartbeats. “Now what can you sense that you don’t want to talk about, Seamus?”

After a long silence, Seamus answered. “I can feel her hunting for me now. She isn’t dead.”

It took a few seconds for Phelan to realize who he meant. “Albina?”

“She won’t stop until she finds me.”

“She can get in line,” Phelan said grimly. “That’s all there is to it.”

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Twenty-three – 02

[This post is from J.T.’s point of view.]

“Carolyn.” His ire dropped right along with his stomach. What was she doing in his room? It had been—

What does this mean?

She’d lit the lamp and was sitting next to it, a book open in her lap. The flickering flame danced along her features, casting half her face in shadow and illuminating the other, her brow slightly furrowed in concern but her eyes bright, not tired at all.

She closed the book and stood up. “I—”

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again as she broke off, staring at him uncertainly. He swallowed hard.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “It’s been a long day.”

“I know,” she said. “And I knew eventually you’d make it back here. That’s why I came.”

“It’s late,” he said.

“Actually, it’s early.” She smiled weakly, gesturing slightly. “Close the door, huh?”

J.T. had been in such a state of shock that he hadn’t realized that the door was still open, that he was still standing in his doorway. He took a step forward, then another, closing and locking the door behind him, hoping against hope that Ériu would have sense enough to stop following him. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I know,” she said, glancing toward her feet. “I’m sorry, Jay. It’s just been weird lately and I’ve been taking it out on you. That’s not been fair.”

“No, it’s fine.” He slunk across the room, skirting the space where she stood so he could drop his kit next to the bed. “You needed space. It’s a big commitment and I kind of sprang the question on you without our really discussing it first. It’s okay.”

“I was scared.”

He froze, barely daring to breathe. His throat thickened, choking off any words that came to mind. J.T. just stood there with his back to her, silent, waiting, hoping she’d say more.

She said “was.” Not is. What the hell does that mean? Is it the commitment? Something else?

“It hasn’t been because I don’t love you, Jay, because god knows I do. I’m scared because I love you—I’m scared because of what I see happening to you, of this power that you’ve got that keeps getting stronger and sinking its claws deeper. I’ve been afraid I’ll lose you.”

Her hand touched his back and he stiffened. Carolyn didn’t withdraw, only stepped closer. J.T. sucked in a quiet breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Promise me I won’t lose you,” she whispered. “Please, Jay.”

The words came out strangled. “I promise. I’ll never leave you. I swear. I swear. They’d have to banish me and I would still find a way to come back.”

Her arms slid around his waist and she leaned against his back. He could breathe again and he squeezed his eyes shut against the sting of tears.

“Does this mean—”

“Yes,” she whispered into his shirt. “Yes, it does.”

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Twenty-three – 01

[This post is from J.T.’s point of view.]

“You seem tired, Jameson.”

J.T. winced at the sound of Ériu’s voice, a threadbare whisper in the darkness as he eased down the darkened hallway in the last hours before dawn. “I am tired,” he whispered back to the ghost dogging his steps. “I’ve been up for probably nearly twenty-four hours at this point. Anyone would be tired.”

It was a lie, though. He wasn’t nearly as tired as he pretended to be—adrenaline was still pumping, and though he knew he should have been beyond exhausted, it hadn’t quite hit yet. Maybe when the rush wore off. That happened, sometimes. He’d crash and crash hard, probably sleep the better part of the day and then have to struggle to reset his sleeping schedule in the aftermath.

All he really wanted to do was sleep, but at the same time, he didn’t.

That’s because you don’t want to sleep alone and you have been for weeks.

“What’s bothering you?” the ghost asked. She was alongside him now, a spectre in a dark green gown, her pale hair bound in braids and woven through with silver trinkets that clinked softly with each movement. “Everything went well. They’re all healthy and safe.”

“I know.”

“But there’s something digging at you.”

“Yes.”

“But it’s not Thom or Sif or anything like that.”

He stopped dead in his tracks, looking directly at her. “If you know so much, Ériu, you’d bloody well better tell me what’s bothering me since you seem to be damned good at telling me what it’s not.”

She turned squarely toward him, her eyes narrowing. “You don’t have to take that tone of voice with me.”

A frustrated sigh escaped his lips and he started walking again, suddenly not caring if she kept up or not. He could see her from the corner of his eye, but she didn’t say anything as his strides ate up the distance between him and his bed. He jerked open the door to his room.

“Jay?”

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Twenty-two – 06

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

Lin let out a soft whimpering noise when his aunt and uncle turned away, taking Tory with them. I exhaled a breath and reached down, letting his tiny hand wrap around one of my fingers. “It’s all right,” I soothed him softly. “You’ll see him again soon enough—a lot of him, I think.”

Thordin’s hand touched my shoulder and I glanced up at him, managing a weak smile. He shook his head slightly.

“You don’t have to stay out here and keep me company, Marin. I can take the watch. Gods and powers know that someone else will probably be out here soon enough to join me, right?”

“Maybe,” I said softly, then sighed. My stomach twisted, folding in on itself for a few seconds before righting itself again. “Or maybe I think you deserve the company until someone gets here.”

“You’re worried about Thom.”

“I’m always worried about Thom.” I turned and headed back to my spot by the fire. Lin began to fuss softly, a cry that I’d started to recognize as his hungry cry. I shook my head a little and leaned back against the log, shifting him gently in my arms to get him into a better position for a pre-dawn feeding. Thordin didn’t so much as flinch when he realized what I was doing, just sat down again, a bit nearer now, and resumed staring into the fire.

“All of it gets harder before it gets easier, doesn’t it?”

I smiled crookedly as I lifted Lin to my breast and he began to nurse. “More than likely. I’m still waiting for more of the easier to happen. It’s going to be difficult if it stays hard forever.”

Thordin choked on a laugh and shook his head, reclaiming his cup of coffee. He stared into the mug for a few seconds. “We really are all becoming a family, aren’t we?”

I paused, staring at nothing for a few moments as I turned the words over in my head, let the concept trickle through my brain.

“Yes,” I finally said. “Yes, we are. We absolutely are.”

“Good,” he murmured, then smiled at me.

I smiled back and nodded.

Family does for family—and it would be as a family that we would stand or fall. I didn’t think then—and still don’t now—that any of us would have wanted it another way.

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Twenty-two – 05

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

“Are you all right?” Hecate asked me.

My gaze flicked up from the infants to meet hers, where I saw a flicker of fear almost overshadowed by concern. I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. I should—I should really get back to Thom, now that you’re all out here. You’re going to stay a bit, aren’t you?”

“Not very long,” she said quietly. “I’ll need to get Tory back to Neve and Cameron, and then I think it’s probably time that Matt and I get some sleep. It’s been a long night.” Her smile was radiant, though small. For the span of a few heartbeats, I saw the girl she’d been trained to be so many yesterdays ago in a time and place long erased by time. It was a glimpse of who she had been before she’d been broken and remade. Matt wrapped his arm around her shoulders, staring down at Tory for a moment.

For a second, I could see another tomorrow—not long in the future, either, it seemed—one where I could see them together, but it was their child, another member of our slowly growing family. There was relief and love in both of their gazes and it made my throat tighten.

Then I blinked and it was gone.

Lin had wrapped his tiny fingers in the swaddling around Tory. I smiled weakly and reached to disengage them. Hecate shook her head.

“Let them be for a moment,” she said softly. “They’re bonding and that’s as important as him bonding with anyone, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so,” I whispered softly, reaching with my free hand to gently smooth my hand over the newborn’s dark hair. He had Neve’s eyes, but I knew in my heart of hearts that he would grow up to take more after his father than his mother, would grow up to look remarkably like his uncle as well. “He’s beautiful. Tell them for me?”

“Of course.” Hecate smiled at me, warm but tired. I reached up and squeezed her shoulder gently.

“Get him back to his mother and father and sister, then,” I said softly. “Then pack yourself off to bed.”

“Do I look that bad?”

“Worse,” my brother said, then pressed a kiss to Hecate’s temple. “Come on. There’s some blankets with our names on them.”

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Twenty-two – 04

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

My brother cleared his throat a few seconds before he reached the circle of the fire’s light, cleaning his hands on a rag with a faint smile on his face. I blinked at the sight of him and Thordin twisted to look, his brow furrowing.

“What’s going on?” he asked, a hint of worry creeping into his tone. “Is something wrong?”

Matt shook his head, glancing back over his shoulder. Hecate appeared from the shadows, cradling a swaddled bundle in her arms, beaming as she shuffled forward.

I shot to my feet. “Is Neve—”

“She’s fine,” Hecate said quickly. “Exhausted, but fine. Cameron is with her and their daughter. He said I should bring Tory out to meet his new family.”

“Tory,” Thordin echoed, his brows knitting. I smiled even as a chill washed over me.

“Short for Artorius,” I said softly. Hecate nodded, watching me.

“You knew that, though,” she said, her voice quieter than it had been a moment before. “You knew she would name him that.”

I glanced at the basket where Lin was sleeping—or had been sleeping. His eyes were open now, bright and focused. I took a deep breath and stood, gathering him up into my arms. Hecate met me partway as I approached her, my throat growing tighter by the second. “I saw things,” I said softly. “I saw things before we ever realized it was two, before we realized how close together they’d be born, before any of that—I saw things.”

Even as tiny and young as he was, I could see that Lin was looking at Tory, who rested quietly in Hecate’s arms, swaddled with wide eyes, but quiet. I knew that he’d been born first, perhaps even an hour or more ago, and his sister had followed.

I knew that Neve would name her for Cameron’s mother, Anne.

One little fist worked its way free of the swaddling. I watched my son as he reached for the tiny bundle in his aunt’s arms.

“Such adventures,” I whispered, staring at the two infants as my eyes began to sting. “So many adventures.”

I tried not to think about it much. It felt safer that way.

But I knew that there would be more than just adventures—more and much, much worse.

But in those few heartbeats, there was just the two babies and maybe, just maybe, a few scraps of hope coming back to us all.

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Twenty-two – 03

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

We lapsed into silence for a few minutes. Thordin’s gaze wandered, eventually settling on Lin’s basket. I could sense an ache in him, something that went beyond anything physical, something that lay in the depths of his very soul.

I exhaled a quiet breath and it was enough to draw his attention, at least momentarily.

“What?”

“Jac’s with Sif?”

He closed his eyes and nodded. “She said she wasn’t going to leave until she woke up. Is that supposed to be reassuring?”

“Is it?” I asked, taking another sip of coffee.

“Yes. No. Dammit, I don’t know.” He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, groaning. “I don’t fucking know and it’s making me crazy that I don’t know if it is or not. I feel like I should be there but at the same time I know she’s right and I need to clear my head but she’s staying with her and that makes me worry that much more.”

“Endless feedback loop,” I said, then smiled weakly. “It takes some breaking. I know how you feel, though. Thom’s out cold right now because of whatever the hell changed with the camazotzi—or changed with him. I’m not sure which it is.”

“Either,” Thordin said. “Both.” He sighed and picked up his mug again, staring into its depths for a few seconds before he finally got up and moved closer to me, settling down on the opposite side of Lin’s basket. He stared at the infant for a few seconds, then reached a hand toward him, one finger trailing down the side of my son’s face. Lin stirred, but didn’t wake.

I smiled faintly. “You’ll have a chance, Thordin.”

“I had a chance,” he murmured quietly. “And then I got myself killed. Who knows what happened to the son I never knew.” He glanced up at me, smiling a sad little smile. “I don’t know if that chance will come again, or if I’ll ever know what it would be like.”

“Don’t rule it out,” I whispered.

Thordin shrugged slightly. “It seems like it’s pretty far away now. Maybe it’ll happen. Maybe it won’t. If I lose her…”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

I reached over and grasped his arm, squeezing. “Yes,” I said, my voice firm. “Yes, I do. You’re not going to lose her.”

He met my gaze, held it. He swallowed hard, twice, apparently seeing something in my eyes that frightened him. He looked away, back toward the fire.

His head bobbed once in a nod and I let go of his arm.

We lapsed into silence again, neither willing to break it—not quite, not yet. It was a fragile thing, that silence, his hope, my resolve—but it was a thing that we needed in that moment, a thing that neither of us was willing to sacrifice.

So we sat in silence, listening to the sound of a crackling fire and a sleeping infant, until the sound of footsteps heralded an end to the moment.

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Twenty-two – 02

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

I brought him a mug and he took it with a grateful smile. He spoke as I turned back to pour my own.

“How extensive was the damage? Injuries?”

“Damage isn’t too bad, though we’ll have to do some work on the wards. Thom’s hurt, too, but he and Sif are the worst. Everyone else has more minor injuries—or isn’t reacting to getting smacked around by a camazotzi the same way he is.” Cradling my mug in one hand, I returned to my spot next to the fire. “Neve’s in labor. It started after the fighting ended, thank god. I don’t know what we would have done if it had happened during that fight.”

“Hell,” Thordin breathed. “No one told me.”

I shook my head. “Hecate was with her practically in seconds after it started—Neve asked for her—and J.T. was there as soon as he was done with Thom. It’s been going on for hours, now.” It wasn’t like mine had been, or even Tala’s—though Tala still hadn’t quite told any of us how long she’d been in labor before she knew it was time. I leaned back against the log sitting behind me, one that was starting to be worn smooth by touch in the months since the end of everything we’d known before. We were only weeks away from the anniversary of that day.

A lot had changed.

“Hecate,” Thordin echoed, sounding thoughtful. He took a sip of his coffee, then another, gaze flicking away from the flames to meet my eyes. “What do you think on her, Marin? Do you trust her?”

I nodded without hesitation. “With my life, with my son’s and my brother’s lives. I trust her.”

Thordin nodded. “I do, too,” he said quietly. “She seems—I don’t know. Different.”

“She is.” I took a slow sip of coffee. “And she’s not. It’s always been there, it’s just that she hasn’t dared to let anyone see it in her in almost forever. It hasn’t been safe. Now it is.”

“I hope it stays that way.”

I exhaled in a sigh. “Me too.”

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Twenty-two – 01

[This post is from Marin’s point of view.]

It was late when the rain finally ended, into the wee hours when I took the dawn watch, and I didn’t see Thordin until he came to the fire during that watch the next morning, looking as exhausted as I wouldn’t admit to feeling. I’d spent the hours after J.T. had finished with him sitting with Thom while he slept and had only left to take the dawn watch to spare Cameron from having to leave Neve. Her water had broken during the aftermath of the battle and when time for the watch came, she was still in the throes of labor when it came time for the change in the watch. I’d sent word for him to stay with her via J.T., then gone to take the watch. As much as it made me ache to think of Thom maybe waking up without Lin and I there, some things were much more important.

Thordin arrived by the fire long after I’d taken the watch, slumping down across from me, complexion like wax and his eyes sunken into shadowed hollows in his face. I winced slightly at the sight, then slowly stood to put on some water for coffee.

“I know better than to ask if you’re all right,” I said quietly. “How’s Sif?”

“Unconscious,” he grated, staring at the fire. His gaze drifted from the flames a moment later, settling on the basket where Lin was fast asleep, swaddled in a blanket that he’d already managed to work an arm free from. “Not in any danger of bleeding out anymore, though, so I suppose that’s something. Took a lot of work, though.” He closed his eyes. “Jac told me to get some air. Said she did the same thing to Sif a few times when she was fretting over me. I just—bloody hell, Marin. I told them that I would end them if I lost her to this wound and I meant it but what I really—I really don’t want her to die. I don’t want to lose her, not ever again. Once was enough.”

“I think she’d say the same about you,” I said. “Once was enough. What you did—”

“Was reckless, I know. But your brother followed me out there.”

“Trust me, I noticed.” I got out two mugs, then paused, watching him for a few minutes. His gaze had shifted again, back to the fire. “That was one hell of a storm.”

“I should have let it go sooner,” he muttered. “I wasn’t thinking. Not about that, anyway.”

“None of us blame you for that.”

“No one that’s voiced it to you, anyway.” He scrubbed a hand roughly over his face. “And really, how many people actually knew it was me?”

“A few,” I said. “Maybe not everyone.”

Thordin nodded and stared into the flames. “It’ll be everyone someday.”

“Someday isn’t today.” I started to make coffee. He watched the fire, saying nothing for a long time.

Then, finally: “When they come again, I’ll make good on my promise.”

I didn’t ask what the promise was. I didn’t want to know if it was what I thought it was.

Sometimes, it was just safer not knowing.

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Twenty-one – 04

[This post is from Hecate’s point of view.]

“We’ll deal with it when they do. We’ll have time—probably not as much as we’d like, but we’ll have it.” Matt held her eye steadily for a few seconds. Neve reached up and grasped his shoulder.

“Angie and I can take the twins,” she said softly. “You can do what you need to do.”

He shook his head, adjusting the basket in his hand. Kurt was fast asleep despite the storm and the rain. “No,” he said quietly. “The only thing I need to do is this. Come on. Let’s get you guys back to where it’s warmer.”

The hairs on her arms and legs had risen in goosebumps. She hadn’t noticed the ambient chill until Matt’s mention of it. That left her a little unsettled—both that she hadn’t noticed and that the chill was so pronounced.

That’s probably not a good sign, if he’s right about Thordin holding the storm—and I think he is. This feels like other people doing the same thing. She had experienced that more than once in her lifetime, though she had only held the weather a bare handful of times, she had been in the presence of more than one of Olympium’s masters controlling the weather. It explained the ambient buzz in the air, the ache that gripped the back of her head, one she’d been fighting to ignore since it had begun.

Matt wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into that embrace. Standing next to him, her heart quieted and breathing got a little easier; panic that had started to well up without her knowing began to ebb just as quickly as it had come. His breath stirred the hair over her ear.

“Are you okay?”

Hecate nodded. “Mostly, anyway.”

“What happened out there?” Neve asked quietly as they began to move toward the main cookfire. People moved around them, hanging up sodden clothes to dry and shifting supplies, the activity of their camp-turned-village returning to normal in the wake of the attack. The tension was still there in the air, though, hadn’t quite drained away.

“A lot of camazotzi,” Matt admitted. “A few made it inside the wards before we were able to push them up high enough. J.T.’s having a look at Thom right now. One got him pretty good and it’s—it seems different than before. It’s like the claws did more damage than they have before. I’m not sure what the hell that could mean.”

Concern flashed through Neve’s eyes and Hecate felt a flutter of discomfort ripple through her guts. There were a dozen things that it could mean and most of them weren’t good.

I’ll need to talk to Jameson. I wonder—

“How many got inside the walls?” Neve asked. “Was Cam—”

“He’s fine. Not a scratch. He came out onto the field with me after Thordin, after Sif—” Matt broke off, making a soft noise of frustration. “He’s fine. He’s probably getting cleaned up and changing into dry clothes. Go on.”

Neve took a deep breath and nodded. She squeezed Matt’s arm before she broke off from their little group and headed for the corridor beyond one edge of the tents, seeking her lover and the father of her children. Hecate watched her go for a few seconds, a tightness gripping her heart before it eased. Matt squeezed her gently before he glanced down at Angie.

“Your brother’s okay, too,” he said. “A little sore because a camazotzi decided to throw Thom at him, but he’s fine.”

“And Mr. Phelan and Miss Marin?”

“They’re okay, too.” Matt gave Angie a reassuring smile. The girl nodded.

“Good.”

Hecate’s guts twisted and she squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds. No one, least of all a child, deserved to witness all that Angie had. She could only imagine how much worse it had been in the months before she’d come, in the months since the end.

How much more will she see? What will it do to her? She opened her eyes, looking at the three infants in their care. What will it do to them?

She exhaled a shaky breath. Matt looked at her, worry in his eyes.

“I’m all right,” she assured him softly, then kissed his cheek. The words did nothing to erase the concern she saw when she meet his gaze, but it was all right. She loved him even more for that concern, that he cared enough to worry. “It’s okay.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds. She sighed softly.

Angie smiled and looked away, continuing on with little Gwen in her basket toward the fire. There were voices there, a little weak laughter, but laughter just the same. That gave Hecate a little hope back, hope she’d lost somewhere in her thousands of years. Even in dark hours, there was still laughter, and light, and hope.

Perhaps they had a chance after all.

“Come on,” she said softly. “We’d better catch up to Angie before someone wonders what’s keeping us.”

A soft sound that was almost a chuckle escaped Matt and he nodded, cheek pressed against her hair. “Right. You’re right.”

“Sometimes.”

He squeezed her gently and guided her toward the warmth and light of the cookfire and the cluster of people around it, people they both hoped that someday she’d be able to trust as friends.

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