Awakenings

[This post is from Matt’s point of view.]

“Well, the first thing we’re going to do is not panic,” Matt said, fighting to keep his voice even. He shifted on the bed, sitting cross-legged in front of her, so close that her toes touched his ankles. He kept his gaze steady, meeting hers with a look he hoped she’d find reassuring. “We both need to be thinking clearly if we’re going to make it through this.”

Hecate looked down, staring at her feet. Matt put his hand gently on her arm.

“I’m not leaving,” he said. “I am not going to let you face this alone.”

She glanced up toward him again, biting her lip. “Staying is dangerous.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take—for your sake if nothing else.” His hand moved from her arm to her cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear that had oozed out from behind her lashes. “I won’t let them destroy you, Hecate. I can’t.”

Her hand covered his, her fingers curling to squeeze his even as her expression grew sad. “We may not be able to stop that from happening, Matt.”

“If we don’t try, they’ve already won,” he said.

She bit her lip but nodded. “You’re right. You’re right. We can’t—I can’t just lie down and let them win.”

“They’re not going to win,” Matt said softly, then leaned in to kiss her gently. She leaned into his touch, into the kiss, her shoulders slumping slightly.

“I don’t deserve you,” she whispered. “I don’t, Matt.”

“Good thing that doesn’t matter,” he said, resting his forehead against hers, one hand laced through her hair. “It never did—never does. That’s sure as hell something I’ve learned since the world came crashing down.”

“At least one good thing came out of all of it.”

“What’s that?”

“I found you,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears again. One corner of Matt’s mouth lifted in a smile and he brushed away the gathering tears with his thumb again.

“That’s something we’re both thankful for,” he said. “Trust me on that.”

“I do,” she whispered. “Hell, you’re the only person I can trust. I can’t even trust myself.”

He kissed her again and drew her into a tighter hug, pulling her out of the ball she’d tucked herself into and into his lap instead. She exhaled a shaky sigh and shot him a watery smile before resting her head against his shoulder.

“You have no idea what this means to me,” she said, closing her eyes briefly.

“Do I need to know?” he murmured, resting his cheek against her hair.

“I guess not,” she said, idly running her hand up and down his arm. “It just…it means a lot, Matt. It does.”

“I know,” he said. “That much I know.”

“They might come after you, too,” she said. “Aietes…he hated Cíar so much. If he figures out—”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” Matt said, even as a chill crept down his spine. “If we get there. They might decide they have bigger problems.”

“Like what? Your friends? The Taliesin, the Wild Hunt, the Aes Dana, Odinson and his Valkyrie incarnate?” Hecate huffed a weak laugh. “Better they come after us, Matt. Powers know that for all the hell I’ve put your friends and family through over all these centuries, I’d rather not foist Olympium off on them. Better they come after us and never trouble the people you love. I’ve seen what they do and I don’t wish that on them. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever—not even if it would save us both. Not even if it would save just you.”

Matt squeezed his eyes shut. Hecate clung to him and he held her tightly, trying to hide the sudden tremor that wracked him. He hadn’t thought about them going after Thom and Marin, Phelan, Neve, Jac, and all the rest. The thought had never consciously crossed his mind until she brought it up, though he realized she was right, that they could be a target and that was probably one of the worst things that could happen to his family.

Whatever powers that be, keep them safe. Please, keep them safe.

[This post is from Matt’s point of view.]

Hecate stiffened, her eyes growing momentarily wide. Matt’s arms loosened and he pushed himself up on an elbow to get a better look at her face, finding her expression stricken, as if she were about to be sick all over their bed.

“What is it?” he asked softly. “What’s wrong?”

“Powers above and below,” she breathed, her eyes still wide and one hand fisting in the covers.

“Hecate?”

Her gaze snapped to his, her jaw tightening. “I’d hoped he was lying.”

Matt’s brows creased. “What?”

They were on the bed, laying side by side but still fully clothed. The first drops of rain had begun to spatter the windows with the approaching storm, one whose rolling thunder rattled the house’s timbers and the window in its casement. She’d grown calmer over the last few hours as they’d carefully avoided discussing how to solve the problem of Leviathan. It wasn’t that it wasn’t a concern, it was just that he recognized that she was in no state of mind to have a logical approach to any of it—the fear was too great, too strong.

He was seeing that same fear in her face now, but worse.

“Hecate?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled a shaking breath. “He was right,” she whispered. “I can feel them.”

“Feel who?” Matt asked, his mouth going dry. “You’re not—”

“I know. I know I’m not making sense and I’m sorry. I’m still trying to process—to process what I’m feeling.” She took a few deep breaths before slowly sitting up. She drew her knees up and hugged them against her chest, resting her cheek against them. Matt sat up, too, sitting cross-legged and meeting her gaze.

She bit her lip. “I haven’t told you everything,” she said. “And I’m sure there are things that you don’t remember, that you’ll never remember and it’s probably better that way because sometimes it feels like they were worse to Cíar than they ever were to me.”

“That’s not true,” Matt said softly before he could stop himself. “He knew that.”

Hecate closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“You’re talking about the people who hurt you,” Matt said softly. “About—”

“The ones who broke me,” she said, cutting him off. Hecate opened her eyes and stared at him unflinchingly, her expression grim. “The ones who time and again ripped me away from people I cared about and people who cared about me as a person until I finally found a way to break free of them, until I was finally able to recover some semblance of an identity independent of what they made me into. It’s not easy and sometimes I slip but it’s damned better than the alternatives are.”

Matt touched her shoulder gently and she sighed.

“There was a part of me that had hoped Yam was lying about them being back.”

“But he wasn’t.”

“No,” Hecate said. “No, he wasn’t. I can feel them and…” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Powers above and below, I hope they’re not looking for me but I know that they are and I don’t know what I’m going to do about that.”