Thirty-one – 01

[This post is from Matt’s point of view.]

I could escape. I could walk right out the door right now.

Instead, Matt stayed where he was, sitting next to Hecate in bed and watching her sleep. She was so peaceful laying there, her face and body relaxed, the hate that had made her ugly to all of their eyes erased in the space of a few short weeks.

She hadn’t told him everything—he knew that and he was pretty sure that she knew that he knew—but she’d said enough. She’d talked about how she’d come to ancient Greece from the lands that had birthed her, why she’d bowed to the commands of the Otherlanders from Olympium, how she and Cíar had met, what she’d been asked to do, told him the secret she’d had to keep. He’d started to understand what forces had forged her and what had broken her, had scarred her so deeply that it left marks on her psyche and her soul deeper than any he’d ever tried to imagine.

He wasn’t sure if Cíar had been the only person in her long history that had actually loved her, but he was definitely willing to believe that the Ridden Druid had been the most recent.

Something about that made him ache in a way he’d never experienced before—though the grief he’d felt when the aunt who’d raised he and Marin died came the closest.

I could walk out the door right now.

Hecate’s hand wrapped around his and squeezed gently. He blinked, looking at her.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“I was,” she whispered. “I was dreaming. It was a nice dream.” One corner of her mouth curved into a slight smile. Matt found himself smiling back.

“What was it about?”

I could escape.

“What might have been. What could be.” Hecate rolled onto her side, her forehead against his knee. “A daughter. A real family.” She sighed softly. “It was a nice dream.”

Matt brushed some hair away from her face and she leaned into the touch, sighing again.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” he said.

“You didn’t.”

“What did?”

“I started thinking.” She clutched the blankets tighter against her chest, staring at his knee and nothing else. “I started thinking about all the enemies I’ve made, how I can’t seem to stay even-keeled, how broken I am—how broken I’ve always been. A family isn’t in the cards, Matt. Even if I had a child, I’d never be able to keep her. It would be too dangerous. If something happened, I’d never be able to forgive myself. I’d never get over it.” She looked up, eyes brimming with tears. “Just like I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I somehow hurt you. I’d rather die.”

Matt buried his fingers in her hair.

I could walk out the door right now, but I’d never escape.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple just as she started to cry.

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One Response to Thirty-one – 01

  1. shadocat says:

    I wonder, did Cíar try to put her back together back then?

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